August 1, 2018

When “Self-love” becomes a Barrier to Loving Others. {Poem}

A post shared by Emma Tait (@emmarosetait) on

When does Self-love become Self-righteous?

When do the words we build ourselves up with
Become walls that surround us
To such a great height
That we can no longer see friend from foe?

When do the boundaries we draw for protection
Become towers to climb when we perceive an attack
A place to throw sharp words down from
No matter who is attempting approach

When does the space that’s needed to heal
Become a moat that we never stop digging
A distance so wide that we can only yell across it
“You’re not welcome in this love that I’ve built”

When does the love we fill up with
Become an erosion so deep that we can’t turn around
Empty us of love for another
So that we no longer feel, give, and take

When does our self-love make us hoard
Become something we are afraid we can lose
As if our love were the scarcest of resources
That all in our lives wished to steal

When does our self-love turn us into
A self-righteous jerk

When it’s fear
Disguised as love
When it’s fear
Calling the shots
When it’s fear

That’s when

When can our love
Turn our whole lives around
When can our love
Lead us on?

When we stop to look
That’s when

When we can see that the love we deny space for with others
Is a direct reflection
Of the love we so desperately want to hold for ourselves
That’s when we will know why we want to change

When can we feel that the judgement we throw all around us
Is a direct reflection of the judgement
We so desperately want to be free of ourselves
That’s when we will know where to start

When we can see that the space and the judging
We have so erroneously labelled as growth
Are only distractions from feeling all alone
That’s when we will know what has been in the way

When we can see that not all souls
Are soul mates
But that we can still always build bridges and doors
That’s when we will know how to let go of the past

When we can give the love freedom
To come in and go out
When we can see, feel, and touch all there is
That’s when we know we are never alone

That’s when our love
Leads us on

author: Emma Tait

Image: Author's own

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

Relephant Watch:

What to do when our Relationships get Tough.

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Pavithra Susan Prakash Aug 6, 2018 9:12am

This is beautiful and true. Thank you Emma

Megan Chapman Aug 6, 2018 12:55am

Thank you Emma, this is beautiful.

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Emma Tait

Emma Tait is a non-fiction writer, coach, and yoga teacher based in the Kootenay Mountains of British Columbia. Emma’s life’s work is to empower others to liberate themselves so they may live an unapologetic existence. She believes the way back to ourselves is through mastering our emotional, physical, and spiritual wisdom and encompassing the courage to show up and be seen. Connect with her on Instagram.