Do you remember the last time you spent hours pondering on whether to stay, or whether to go? You love them so much that whichever decision you are about to take, it would make your heart bleed. Breaking up, then what? Starting all over again is a hard work. Staying and constantly hoping that things will turn around, yet nothing seems to get any better. No matter how many times you’ve been through this in the past, the process does not get any easier.
And if you are an empath like me, making this decision is even harder. You keep putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and trying to relate on whatever he’s going through, justifying every possible reason to stay, even when you are losing yourself.
Personally, I believe a relationship is a great opportunity to help us transform and flourish as a person. Relationships allows you to develop a better version of yourself. As it’s mirroring your personality traits of which magnifies your positive side and reflects your negative side.
A recent quote from Tonny Robbins got me to explore this topic deeper. He quoted “Relationship is not a place you go to GET, it’s a place you go to GIVE. To those most dear to us we get to GIVE our ENERGY, our pure LOVE and our open HEART”.
This holds the truth to an extent, when you love someone you want the best thing for them and you are prepared to give everything to make them happy. However, I believe that you can only experience joy and happiness when you can give and receive love. As a human being, we cannot help to think what’s in it for me. It’s in our nature to protect ourselves first, it’s our survival instinct.
Furthermore, a relationship is a factor of two people. You can only do so much and change yourself to compromise to your partner’s wants, needs and desires. Yet, you cannot expect your partner to change unless he’s willing to compromise to your own wants, needs and desires.
There is no exact science or rules that can pinpoint how to identify the right time to leave a relationship. My best advice is to let the voice of your heart and feeling to be acknowledged, what does it truly wants? Do you feel that the relationship is serving or drowning you?
Most importantly, when you start to lose your own identity and you give up the love for yourself to keep the relationship going, then it’s a big indication that relationship starts to be toxic for both parties. It’s probably the best time to leave unless both of you are committed to invest time and energy to make it work again. Holding onto a toxic relationship will and can crush your soul and isn’t good for your partner either.
Always remember that you are the most important person in your world and always put the love for yourself as the first and foremost important thing in your life.
About the author:
Yuliana Hartanto is a qualified accountant turned into healer and transformational coach for women entrepreneurs seeking to develop their spirituality whilst receiving wealth, health and happiness in living their soul purposes.