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December 13, 2018

The Best Christmas Gift – Forgiveness and Self Love

We all have insecurities and fears, just as we all have the capacity to love.  Society often pulls us into the fear perspective and it’s our job, every day, to stay connected to love.

Many of us reach outside ourselves for love, and we think: “Maybe if I can love someone else and their flaws, I could love the parts of myself that I don’t like.” But if we don’t love ourselves first, our relationships can become painful, and they can fall apart.

So how do we love ourselves?  By telling ourselves that we’re lovable, every single day, just as we do with someone we love. By love bombing ourselves until the love drowns out the nasty, critical voices in our head, by loving and accepting all the parts of ourselves that we think are unloveable. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

We all have negative beliefs that can make loving ourselves challenging. Many of us have thoughts that we’re unlovable and we think we’re unique in that, but we’re not. Maybe you think, “Yeah, but I think there’s really something wrong with me!” Maybe you think that you specifically are unlovable, that there’s something inherently unlovable about you. I thought that too, but now I know it’s not true…

“But I’ve had depression and anxiety all my life…” I hear you say…

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve hurt people I loved…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve yelled at my kids”…

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve put up with being treated like garbage…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve been diagnosed with bi polar…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But you don’t know the crazy, horrible things I’ve done…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve lied and cheated…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

“But I’ve done bad things to good people…”

There’s nothing wrong with you…

Yes, YOU!!  There’s nothing wrong with you!!!  Everything about you is perfect just as you are!  You are human, we are all human, and we all make mistakes.

You are just as lovable as anyone on this planet.  And EVERYONE, even Mary Poppins herself, even Nobel Prize winners and Buddhists, and Christians, and Spiritual Leaders – even Eckhart Tolle (before his shift in consciousness)… Everyone – every one of us has had, at some point, this inherent fear that we’re not good enough, that we’re unlovable, and you are no exception.  This fear makes us ALL act in harmful ways and the guilt of those actions only makes us repeat the behavior more.

You are not unlovable!  You are human, and being human means making mistakes and learning to love ourselves more and more every day. And when we truly love, accept and forgive ourselves, in turn, we love, accept and forgive others. When we set others free, in turn, we set ourselves free.

But it’s not about you, it’s not about me, it’s about humanity. And being part of humanity means understanding that we don’t need to be perfect to be loved. In fact, true love is loving our imperfect selves fully. There’s nothing wrong with you!

You are lovable because you exist. And truly remembering that is the only truth. Merry Christmas… <3


If you want to read more uplifting articles like this, join Sarah at her blog Drunk On Life Living

Or find her on Instagram: sarahjanewalton


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