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Right now, there is no such thing as armor.
I stand naked, but not exposed.
I breathe in a thousand rosebuds of beauty.
I see a giant window of all that life can be, outside of the hurt.
I get to know myself, outside of the crises and fear and aches.
I get to taste what comes after the suffering.
Life looks different, bigger, wider, brighter. The colors are vivid, the pulse and breath of existence feels more…alive.
I dare to look at myself—and heck, I even see beauty there.
And my heart glows.
Tears tumble, goose bumps grow.
It is but a mere moment, here, with myself—
It is so simple.
It is unequivocally soft.
It runs up and down my spine, like the pitter-pattering of a light, misty rain.
And I remember these words my beloved said to me not long ago—
“It’s amazing, your capacity to love. It’s so powerful.”
It felt really good to hear that.
‘Cause for some time, I feared I had become bitter. Cold inside.
And I think this is what’s incredible about being human—
In spite of all the pain, rage, suffering, rejection, abuse, hate, and sorrow we may face in this world—
We have this huge capacity to love
And nothing can take that away from us.
And in this moment,
My heart swallows me whole.
To the shaking bones of tenderness.
To a serenity I’ve never known before.
And it, oh—
It is so sweet.
We are so human.
We can struggle so much.
Our hearts are so big.
And I dare you to stare your soul in the face.
I dare you to taste how beautiful you are.
No armor necessary. No masks needed.
You sparkle, all on your own.
And it is in this—all the softness and joy that comes after the sh*t.
All the rose petals that rain
After the ache.
Because I now know, I am learning
There can be such peace after the pain.
And I want to tell you what my beloved said to me—
Your capacity to love, it’s so powerful.
No matter what society tells you.
And don’t forget the roses, the blessings, the sweetness, the vivid wick of aliveness that comes
May love rush like wind into your bones
And take up residence