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I’ve felt a new kind of spaciousness in my thoughts lately.
Perhaps it was the vulnerable therapy session I had in the morning, the newly opened cracks in my heart, or the early, tender, spring sun kisses on my cheeks, but while I was walking across the park on Monday afternoon, these thoughts appeared in my head:
Have I been scared of being all of me?
Has my feeling of being “too much” always been just my fear speaking, shushing down the real strength in me?
Am I scared of succeeding by being who I am, honoring all my needs?
I know that I am tired of being afraid—afraid of my own power.
I am tired of living half-only, not fully accepting all parts of who I am, fearing the “too muches” in me.
So these are my words for me, by me—to the all parts of Me:
All of me is the woman speaking the words from her heart, undressed of all its insecurities, bare and open like her soft flesh after a morning shower.
All of me is the woman dancing with the child in her, feeling light, fluid, and free.
All of me is the woman witnessing and listening to the pain on her chest that’s made there a temporary nest.
All of me is the woman writing without fear, trusting herself, without a single comparison to her sisters.
All of me is the woman loving wildly, allowing herself to strip down the thoughts of unavailability.
All of me is the woman saying “yes,” to possibilities, to new beginnings.
All of me is the woman accepting that there’s a mother in her.
All of me is the woman touching the core of her being, peeling it open, staying with that unknown, unseen.
All of me is the woman speaking her fears aloud.
All of me is the woman tired of carrying around the invisible shame that is keeping her quiet, pressing her down.
All of me is the woman forgiving herself for not reaching for her fiercest dreams.
All of me, all of me, all of me.
Showing up, standing behind her needs, without thinking that it is weak.
If you are feeling vulnerable now, fearing all the power in you:
Your strength is the first touch of sunlight on someone’s skin, after months of hibernation.
Being you, is being all of you. Allow yourself to let go of the control of your own words, breaking the barriers and walls inside and around you.
Own your “too muches,” whatever they may be. Be even louder than you already are, let your strength spread new, unknown seeds with unique, undiscovered power.
Honor yourself, your you that is built of childhood dreams, those fierce thoughts of whatever you wanted to be. All of you, all of you, all of you.
Honor your needs.
That’s where it all begins.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~ Brené Brown