People love to comment on how bad millennials are at dating.
They are often criticized for their approach to relationships.
The reason? Millennials’ fixation with dating apps. Most people think that relying on these apps has made them afraid of long-term relationships and addicted to hookups.
The Hookup Culture
Most people want to experience the good old days of dating, when going to a diner or a drive-in cinema and drinking milkshakes were the norm. Nowadays, things are quick. You use apps, find a match, go out, and have a good time.
If you go back in time (say, the 50s), a boy might take you on a real date. And it wasn’t common for people to have a sexual relationship if they were not committed. Hookups were not really the rage.
Has hookup culture really become the new millennium trend?
ABODO Apartments carried out a survey of 3,500 millennials, which revealed that the hookup culture could be taking a leave soon. The research found that less than nine percent of millennials reported having used dating apps, particularly for a hookup, which contradicts most of the views people have about dating apps such as Tinder, Her, and Bumble, to name a few.
A lot of stigma is attached to millennials and their dating preferences. Many people have this notion that millennials are nothing but a hookup generation, as they have opted for swiping on an app instead of showing up at the front door with flowers in hand.
It is the truth to an extent. Young people today keep on swiping until they find someone good looking enough to hook up with for some time. But, at the same time, it is also true that just because millennials use hookup apps doesn’t mean that they are just looking for sexual satisfaction.
A lot of people, including millennials, are of the view that dating is non-existent in today’s world. They also hate how people associate the sex-driven hookup culture with millennials.
What do the numbers say?
Millennials are not using dating apps for hooking up as much as they are blamed for. Did you know many are not even hooking up?
A paper published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior said that more millennials in the United States are keeping away from sex. Jean Twenge from San Diego State University and colleagues Ryan Sherman and Brooke Wells led the study. The researchers found that 15 percent of millennials between 20 to 24 years of age in the United States reported not having sexual partners.
The data used in the study was from the General Social Survey and had a sample of 26,707 Americans nationwide who expressed their opinions about sex and relationships. The study focused more on the answers from Gen X (born in the 60s or 70s), millennials, and Gen Z (born from 1995 to 2012).
The Truth about Millennial Dating and Relationships
People are a bit hard on millennials. Dating as a millennial isn’t all that bad. It is actually great, because you have a lot of options.
Want to have casual sex? You can have it. Want to be in a committed relationship? You can get into one. There is absolutely no need for a person to hide their feelings, because, as compared to the past, hookups are widely available now. If both parties are honest with each other, open about what they’re looking for, not overly jealous, and don’t snoop on their partner, there is a good chance that people can find the perfect relationship for themselves.
As far as committed relationships are concerned, they exist. It isn’t that casual hookups have removed traditional dating. You can decide what you want. It isn’t far from the truth that no one goes on dates anymore and many people hate it.
It takes time to find someone you would like to go on a real date with. So, why go out with someone you are not really sure you even like?
There are a few reasons as to why millennials have become awkward regarding dating.
Here are a few theories that might explain their dilemma:
As social media platforms clearly indicate, millennials are quite comfortable talking about themselves and sharing things. They discuss everything online, even personal things, but have failed to apply those social and sharing skills to their real, in-person lives.
A study from Florida Atlantic University revealed that more and more young people are skipping sex altogether. According to Dr. Ryne Sherman, the co-author of the study, says that, compared to previous generations, millennials have become more cautious about relationships. They have grown up in a world where they had sex education and were aware of sexually transmitted diseases. This is why they are hesitant to hook up with attractive-looking strangers on a dating app.
For a novice millennial, online dating gets a bit complicated. Although dating apps find you your potential match, the typical millennial mindset keeps calling out that there is a better option out there. Thus, millennials aren’t excited about the other person, as they know that they have abundant options to choose from.
Little to No Parental Support
A high percentage of young people seek guidance from mentors, parents, and trusted adults when it comes to developing relationships. Many parents do not provide guidance to their children regarding romantic relationships. They don’t think they have a role in that and often feel they don’t have worthy advice because of experiencing heartbreak and failure in their own relationships.
Young people could develop the ability to conduct caring and loving relationship if parents and adults help their youngsters in developing the skills and traits to maintain romantic relationships. This helps them in the long run as they grow up into ethical adults and citizens of the community.
With more than half of marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, it doesn’t look like parents of millennials have the ability to develop a committed and healthy relationship. This explains the dating dilemma millennials find themselves in.
All of this boils down to a simple fact: Millennials are young and lack the experience and knowledge needed to have and nurture a loving relationship. They will have to live more, see the world a bit more, get their hearts broken to be mended again, and then find love.
Everyone is a product of their own time. The environment and circumstances we live in shape us and who we become.
Millennials want the same thing as everyone. They are just in the process of figuring out how they can find it—and maintain it.