6.2
May 1, 2019

If your Heart feels Raw & Broken Today.

 

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Today was a sh*tty day.

It feels good to say that.

I tiptoe around the center of my wounds

They rage with a secret fire

The flames sparkle up and down my spine.

 

My heart—she is raw today.

 

I feel ripped open, like my skin is see-through—a window for the world to see in.

We are taught to hide these intense currents of vulnerability and emotion. To run away from them.

Why?

We can handle ’em.

Emotions come like waves, in and out

Some are big—

But they are all temporary.

They grind up old bits of ache to make sweet, new sand.

They teach us to be warriors

To find an earthy calm in the chaotic seas of our lives.

 

Sensations rise and fall.

They don’t stay at full intensity.

Feelings are waves.

I have come to trust this.

And I feel my feelings deeply—so I have to make a lot of room

To cry at my desk and look out the window.

The pain comes, but I try not to resist

And in that breeze of badass embracing, it softens.

 

It’s amazing how much we can hold

When we let go

And stop stifling our feelings

And softly step into them

When we let those grand waters flow

Such beauty ripens

The fruit is plush and jeweled

It is so sweet.

Sure, it’d be nice to glisten with happiness all the time—but that’s not real.

And I like real.

So I feel. I breathe.

I open toward myself.

And yes, I ache with brokenness today. It’s okay.

I also bloom here.

For I can sit as long as I need, with my arms wrapped around my heart.

 

As the feelings rip through us, as they come and go—

We can find steadiness.

We can ground into our bodies and know that it’s safe to feel.

Our grief or anger or fear is not limitless.

It is not our enemy.

When we kindly lean in toward ourselves

When we soak in those uncomfortable but beautifully choppy waters

Our hearts hinge open

And pulse in time with everyone else

Who is hurting right now, who will hurt, who has ever hurt like we do

Because we are human.

We are meant to know pain, anger, fear, loneliness, loss, and grief.  

No one has it all figured out. No one.

Breathe into your feelings, let them settle.

Because they will.

 

We are brave.

We do not need to escape ourselves, our thoughts, or emotions.

We do not need to run away.

Stay with yourself.

Feel your feet on the ground.

Face yourself, sweetly.

If the hurt is sharp and wild—that’s when you need yourself most of all.

Wrap your arms around your heart;

It’s okay to be a mess sometimes.

To cry for a while.

To really let it out.

To get down with the grit and pain inside.

 

We don’t learn through avoidance.

We learn through sitting in the fires of this life

With fresh breath rushing into our lungs

And a fierce, badass calm filling our tear-stained eyes.

This is beauty.

This is healing

The deepest transformation.

Our hearts are so tender and powerful.

This is what makes us warriors.

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author: Sarah Harvey

Image: Julia Margaret Cameron/Wikimedia Commons

Image: Ecofolks on Instagram

Editor: Kelsey Michal

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