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Today was a sh*tty day.
It feels good to say that.
I tiptoe around the center of my wounds
They rage with a secret fire
The flames sparkle up and down my spine.
My heart—she is raw today.
I feel ripped open, like my skin is see-through—a window for the world to see in.
We are taught to hide these intense currents of vulnerability and emotion. To run away from them.
We can handle ’em.
Emotions come like waves, in and out
Some are big—
But they are all temporary.
They grind up old bits of ache to make sweet, new sand.
They teach us to be warriors
To find an earthy calm in the chaotic seas of our lives.
Sensations rise and fall.
They don’t stay at full intensity.
Feelings are waves.
I have come to trust this.
And I feel my feelings deeply—so I have to make a lot of room
To cry at my desk and look out the window.
The pain comes, but I try not to resist
And in that breeze of badass embracing, it softens.
It’s amazing how much we can hold
When we let go
And stop stifling our feelings
And softly step into them
When we let those grand waters flow
Such beauty ripens
The fruit is plush and jeweled
It is so sweet.
Sure, it’d be nice to glisten with happiness all the time—but that’s not real.
And I like real.
So I feel. I breathe.
I open toward myself.
And yes, I ache with brokenness today. It’s okay.
I also bloom here.
For I can sit as long as I need, with my arms wrapped around my heart.
As the feelings rip through us, as they come and go—
We can find steadiness.
We can ground into our bodies and know that it’s safe to feel.
Our grief or anger or fear is not limitless.
It is not our enemy.
When we kindly lean in toward ourselves
When we soak in those uncomfortable but beautifully choppy waters
Our hearts hinge open
And pulse in time with everyone else
Who is hurting right now, who will hurt, who has ever hurt like we do
Because we are human.
We are meant to know pain, anger, fear, loneliness, loss, and grief.
No one has it all figured out. No one.
Breathe into your feelings, let them settle.
Because they will.
We are brave.
We do not need to escape ourselves, our thoughts, or emotions.
We do not need to run away.
Stay with yourself.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Face yourself, sweetly.
If the hurt is sharp and wild—that’s when you need yourself most of all.
Wrap your arms around your heart;
It’s okay to be a mess sometimes.
To cry for a while.
To really let it out.
To get down with the grit and pain inside.
We don’t learn through avoidance.
We learn through sitting in the fires of this life
With fresh breath rushing into our lungs
And a fierce, badass calm filling our tear-stained eyes.
This is beauty.
This is healing
The deepest transformation.
Our hearts are so tender and powerful.
This is what makes us warriors.