5.4 Editor's Pick
July 29, 2019

A Feminist Motherhood Manifesto.

 

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I will not default to the gender norms that have been passed down for generations.

I will not give up my identity and dreams and be solely a mother.

I will not feel guilty for having my own life outside of my children.

I will not put myself last and neglect my own feelings.

I will not define mother as martyr and hurt myself by endless sacrifice.

I will not buy into the story that I am selfish if I am not selfless. 

 

I will call upon the help and support I need to feel healthy in motherhood.

I will let other people help raise my kids so I can have a break.

I will practice equality and fairness in the division of labor with my husband.

I will speak up if I feel like I do not have enough freedom in our arrangement.

I will feel happy that my daughter has deep emotional bonds with other people too.

I will choose to spend my free time taking care of my own needs.

 

I will not judge other mothers for their choices.

I will not expect everyone to understand and approve of my way of life.

I will not take what other people think about my mothering style personally.

I will not force my views on anyone, but I will share them as an alternative to the norm.

 

I will prioritize my passion and purpose and create work that is meaningful to me.

I will foster my creative energy outside of baby-making and give it an outlet to express regularly. 

I will do what I need to always have my own room in my home so I can have space to think.

I will give myself quality alone-time regularly.

 

I will not be a typical woman, mother, or wife.

I will be an incredible woman, mother, and wife by being and taking care of myself fully.

 

I will not live in resentment or frustration.

I will not silence my needs.

I will speak up about what bothers me and advocate for my own needs, wants, and desires.

 

I will not suppress my emotions and true feelings with substances, food, or other addictions.

I will actively feel my feelings and express myself in healthy ways.

 

I will spend chunks of time away from my kids.

I will not feel guilty or shameful for my need for significant amounts of space.

 

I will respect my child and partner as enhancements to my life.

I will not derive my worth from my relationships or my family’s success.

 

I will allow myself and my family to grow, change, and evolve.

I will not expect anyone to be how I think they should be—myself included.

 

I will not let motherhood become a cage for my wild spirit.

I will use the grounded reality of family as a stable platform to take off from and land in.

 

I will not be silent about the injustices, challenges, and misconceptions in motherhood.

I will use my voice, privilege, and passion to help liberate other women into empowered choice.

 

I will not pass on the wounds and traumas of my ancestors to my child.

I will actively heal myself and restructure my beliefs to support true health and happiness.

 

I will not use motherhood as an excuse to stay small and silent.

I will structure my life in a way that allows me to live my purpose and be heard!

 

We can choose how we show up as mothers, women, wives, and creators in this world.

We are no longer bound by the norms and rules of the past.

We are no longer unequal and enslaved as property without rights or freedoms.

We deserve equality, respect, and the ability to advocate for our own needs.

 

Be bold, be free, be you.

Be willing to question the mold, ask for support, and break free.

This is a Feminist Motherhood Manifesto.

May it empower you to thrive.

~

author: Flow Belinsky

Image: YouTube

Image: @elephantjournal on Instagram

Editor: Kelsey Michal

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andrea-hph Aug 8, 2019 6:51am

Great writing! So important to see this as mothers and to pass it on the other women and our girls!! ?

Ellie Aug 1, 2019 1:04pm

At last some one brave enough to write about this!
Thank you! As women we don’t need permission to feel or behave in this way – it starts with what we accept for ourselves. Here’s to creating well rounded children with strong emotional bonds with others!

kate.krol Aug 1, 2019 8:09am

How about teaching your child she is not the center of the universe and sometimes she needs to put someone else’s needs before her own.

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Flow Belinsky

Flow Belinsky is a mom on a mission to co-create a world that supports real mental health in motherhood and beyond. She is the author of Postpartum: A Story of Unraveling and Becoming and Mental Health for Moms. Visit her website to get your free copy of Sane and Satisfied: A Guide for Moms.