They are the quiet ones.
The ones who will allow you to catch glimpses of their soul, but only if they think you can see it.
The ones who confound and confuse most people, sometimes even themselves, because they are ever-growing, ever-learning, ever-changing.
They are the ones who watch everything, but feel more than they see.
They’ve been called sensitive and shy. They’ve been named empaths, star children, or indigo children. Sometimes they are called hippies or the weird one.
Sometimes they are not seen at all.
They are the ones who won’t demand attention. They know what they are worth and will not settle for less.
They burn so deeply that they usually only display their surface facade—it is a learned survival mechanism.
You probably know one or two. Some people find them intimidating; some people are drawn to them because they are like no other.
These people love with everything they have but are careful about who they let in because they haven’t been cautious enough in the past.
These are the ones who have been utterly devastated and broken, but then rebuilt themselves up even stronger and more beautiful. They’ve probably done it a few times. They are intimately familiar with heartbreak and renewal. They will understand your scars.
Whatever the past damage to their heart, these are the ones who crave deep connection on a soul-to-soul level, energetically and spiritually. Whether as lovers or friends, the people in their lives are chosen carefully.
And make no mistake—if they chose for you to be in their life, it is for a reason. You are important to them.
They are the ones who have learned that loving fully means risking heartbreak. They are the ones who realize that heartbreak is worth it for the right person.
These are the people who are caught between their heart and their head. But for them, it’s really not a choice. They are all heart.
They will soar to the ends of the earth with you, love and cherish you, dazzle and frustrate and make you laugh like no other. They will want to know and see and love every piece of you, even (especially) the ones you cannot love yourself.
But first they have to feel safe with you. Then they have to know that you see them. The real them, not the facade or the person you want them to be or the physical aspect. If they know you can see them, you are halfway to winning their heart.
They won’t let many people in, but as a friend or lover, these are the people who will be ecstatically, fully present when they are with you. They will challenge you and push you and make you dance in the rain.
To find one as a friend is a treasure. They will rejoice and cry with you. They will hold your secrets and call you out when needed. They are not fleeting friends. They expect the same in return.
To find one as a lover is priceless. They love to play, and the energy exchange between them and their person is beyond electric. It is so much more than one body touching another.
But they can be hard to love as a friend or lover. Their fluidity and propensity to dream can be frustrating. They are not good at the mundane. They are intense and impatient and hidden. They are moody and prone to isolation, and sometimes they think they know more than they really do.
But they do know they are not for everyone.
But if they are for you and you’re brave enough, go love them with everything you have. Here are a few insider tips.
One of the first things to realize is that they have a hard time receiving. They have learned that it is better to rely on themselves than others, though they will happily spoil those around them.
Spoil them not through money, but spend time with them. Figure out their favorite things. Find ways to tell them you think they are special by paying attention to what makes them smile.
Tell them how you feel. Often, if needed…but it won’t be needed often for long. They are used to being told they are too much or too little or too quiet or too weird. Tell them what you see in them. They need to know that they interpret you correctly, and, because you are important to them, they may doubt their intuition at first.
Be warned: they want to know the authentic you, and they have a low tolerance for fake people. Don’t promise them “forever” if what you can really promise is to be here for now.
You will find that they are used to hearing life stories from strangers, but few people know much about them. They do not like talking about themselves. Be patient and persistent.
If you are their lover, engage all their senses. Touch them often. Claim the spot where their shoulder meets their neck as yours. Talk to them—read or sing or chant or make up a story—because your voice will soothe them. They will want to smell and see and hear and taste and feel you. They will find the places on your body that they will make theirs.
Get primal with them. These are the people who revel in nature—dirt and fire are what they are made of. But that doesn’t mean you have to enjoy getting dirty. There are plenty of ways to go primal, especially as a lover. Be open to exploring them.
If you are brave enough to love a recovered empath and they love you in return, they will take you places you cannot imagine.
They will be one of your greatest adventures.
Travel lightly, my friends.