Full confession: I work…a lot.
My writing, mentoring, and speaking occupy me more than anything else. There’s no doubt they define my entire life.
For many years, I was worried that I was becoming “butch” because of how many hours I work, because of how focused I was on future goals, and because of my underlying value on personal freedom and independence as a woman.
But then, one day, I got it.
I got on every level that I am a woman. And that, actually, it is the depth of my feminine love and heart that inspires my entire career to begin with.
It’s my deep love for humanity and desire to nurture and nourish people’s potential that drives me to spend two years working on a book unpaid, post inspirational words online every day, and help people pursue their dreams.
I am not necessarily hardwired to crunch balls or kick ass in a multi-national corporation — but I do have a heartfelt desire to share what is in my heart in the hope that it inspires people.
And, when it comes to my own goals, I’m not building financial wealth because I want to have “all the power and money in the world!!” (imagine me saying this while stroking my chin — bwahahaha) — I’m doing it as an expression of love for myself.
When all this landed with me, the idea that being in business made me more masculine by default dissolved forever.
I realized the truth: it requires both energies — masculine and feminine.
It needs action and reflection, movement and stillness, give and receive, stretch and support, on and off.
And, the more deeply I honour my innately feminine nature, the more powerfully I can bring my heart into my work — and use my typically masculine qualities to “get sh*t done.”
It’s a union within myself between the part of me that loves to achieve and the part that wants to express love and connect—parts that are equally precious as one another.
So, I’ve learned little tricks for nourishing my feminine energy to maintain the inner balance while I actively build my career:
1. I have “draw down” weeks.
Yep, the female body has cycles. Times of the month when we are naturally more “go-getter,” and times when we want to withdraw from the world. In recent months, I’ve begun to not just observe but honour the rhythms of my body.
So, I schedule a five to six-day block into my calendar each month during pre-menstruation (called a “draw down” week), when I allow myself to go inward for necessary reflection. If I need to, I book fewer calls with people and allow my team to support me more.
Note: When progesterone levels drop in women, we have sharper perception (progesterone is like weed for the brain!), and so, during PMS, we can see truths in and about our lives and work that we might miss or not admit the rest of the month. It’s a potent time for realignment and growth if we give ourselves over to it.
2. I give back to my body.
Receiving massages, pedicures, manicures, reflexology, and doing relaxing yoga classes softens me in deep ways and helps me to return to the core of who I am as a woman. They bring much-needed balance that I sometimes need after coaching clients, presenting my mastermind, or writing for hours.
3. I make an effort to empower all areas of life.
I’ve learned that being focused on business and finance can “harden” me a little bit (through spreadsheets, setting KPIs, and setting standards). I’ve also learned that connecting with my family and loved ones, looking after my health and beauty, and nourishing my spiritual connection with “all that is” softens me.
So, I make time for both. If I feel a little empty after working a full week, I turn to nature or journaling or shopping or music or time with friends to help me recharge and fill my cup. It works every time.
The way I see it now, business is a vehicle to share love, gifts, wisdom, and value with people, to support them in the goals and dreams that matter to them and to express who they truly are in the world.
In order to flourish in my career (and business), I need to embrace and express all dimensions of myself—heart, mind, body, and soul. Intellect and spirit. Passive and active. Bold and vulnerable. Strong and soft.
That’s where the meaning and magic lies.
At my core, I’m female. There’s no doubt about that.
But being in business for so many years has helped me to level up as a woman by helping me embrace all sides of myself so that I can experience the greatest fulfilment possible.
For that, I’m thankful.