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A few weeks ago, I was told that I shouldn’t worry about building a career for myself.
I should find a “high caliber man” to take care of me.
At first, I felt my programming kicking in. Smile and nod was how my body first wanted to react. Don’t confront him and tell him why this was so messed up.
But I remembered what I stand for in the next moment. And I used my voice.
I don’t need a man to take care of me. I need a partner who can sit with me, be there for me, and who has the openness to allow me to give the same in return.
I don’t need your money or your possessions or your achievements. I need your love, your respect, your care for myself and the world, your support in the impact I am trying to make. I want to give the same to you.
I want to build a life together. I want to celebrate you in your victories, and for you to celebrate me in mine.
I want a team. I want equality. I want a fluid knowing that we will support each other.
When you are down, I will be there for you. When I am down, I want you to be there for me.
I want flexibility.
I want grace.
I want companionship.
I want laughter.
I want friendship.
In the words of Brené Brown:
“I’ve come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man. And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I’ll show you a guy who’s done his work and a man who doesn’t derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.”