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September 17, 2019

A Reminder to Forgive Ourselves & Love who we are Now.

 

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The best way to get where we want to go is to be where we are.

There is something incredibly precious, innocent, and good inside of us that gets wasted when we project ourselves into the future and imagine that destination to be where we can finally rest and have everything we want.

The here and now is all there is.

We are so conditioned to plan and think about the future that we don’t realize the deeper message beneath: that what is happening right now—where we are in our lives, who we are, the money we have, or our current purpose—is not okay.

The future becomes another thing we are trying to feed our emptiness or hunger for wholeness with.

Sometimes, our future self is a projection of how inadequate we feel about who we are now. And the only way to evolve into our future self is through being with our hearts here, in the present.

There is no way to know what the future holds or who we will be. Sometimes, all we can do is trust the process of our own unfurling in the current time, knowing that every step moves us into the fullness of the next.

So many of us punish ourselves and hold ourselves hostage for things that happened so long ago. Things that weren’t our fault, or we couldn’t do anything about. We were always doing the best we could with what we had.

It’s okay, safe even, to forgive yourself for the past, to forgive the past itself. You are innocence and purity in your heart of hearts.

There is so much goodness that can be found here beneath the folds of conditioning, wounding, and fear wound up into a tight ball that feels like shame or lack.

There is no scarcity of love—feeling this means a part of you is still holding on to something from your past and hoping it will change itself. You don’t have to keep blaming yourself for whatever that is, or molding yourself into some shape that would have gotten you the love you needed back when you needed it.

The real scarcity is the heart feeling separate from its own love.

Everything else in the world is marketing, creating a picture of scarcity and fear, so that you will buy things, try to be like other people, feel bad about what you have, or buy into a future where you will feel like you can love yourself.

It’s a thing that starts to feed itself.

You are allowed to be happy now with what you have, however you are feeling, no matter what you are doing.

You are allowed to be kind and compassionate with yourself.

You are allowed to grieve for what happened or what will never be—honoring the reality of the past doesn’t make you a victim. This makes you a human, one who loves the soul inside who survived, one who is willing to let go of the past and re-parent yourself whole—so you can live into the future, free from loyalty to your past pain and suffering, and free from holding yourself hostage with it.

Your own love has the power to set you free.

You get to feel resourced and comfortable in your own skin. You get to do the spiritual muscle-building to feel the divine inside of you. You get to mother and father your nervous system into a state of being relaxed so that you can enjoy the pleasure, abundance, and sweet things in life.

Whatever resentment you have about being the one who can save you, whatever disgust, fear, or shame you have about yourself, start here:

Take the little hand of your fear and ask her what she needs to feel safe.

Take the little hand of your shame and tell her it wasn’t her fault she wasn’t seen.

Take the little hand of your anger and honor her boundaries.

Take the little hand of your grief and know that she is healing your heart into a bigger shape with unfathomable beauty.

You are lovable and now is a good time to start knowing that.

Dr. Nandi Hetenyi

author: Dr. Nandi Hetenyi

Image: Author's Own

Editor: Catherine Monkman

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