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September 3, 2019

When you’ve Lost it All.

 

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When sadness falls on you

like a dark cloud,

when you feel that there is no escape,

no road to turn onto

when you have to face it all.

When the air is so thick

that you simply cannot breathe;

when words no longer offer any comfort.

When everything that once lit up your soul

and caused your belly to ache from unstoppable laughter

has lost its magic.

When you no longer know who you really are deep inside

or what to believe, who to believe.

When it feels like all options have been used

and no matter how hard you try to make it all go away,

it sits like a heavy cloud beneath you

pouring drops of water onto your scalp.

When your pride has been taken

and you barely remember your dreams

or what made you laugh

until you physically couldn’t anymore…

 

When you feel you’ve lost it all, it’s a perfect day for a new start.

 

It’s not a day to turn it all around in a heartbeat,

but a slow, steady walk back to yourself.

It’s about getting to know your body centimetre by centimetre,

slowly stroking your own back.

It’s about gently making love to yourself

and growing back your backbone, vertebra by vertebra.

It’s a day to put one foot in front of the other

and have trust because it’s all that you’ve got.

It’s a day to give yourself another second chance,

even though you thought that you’d run out of those too.

It’s a day to remember the strength that lifts its head

when you’ve fallen face-first to the ground.

It’s not about building sandcastles and dreams too high to reach,

it’s about coming back to the only real you that you’ve ever known.

It’s not about grasping for the best version of you,

it’s about embracing the shadow version of you.

It’s about getting to accept the weirdo who feels too much

or who builds up walls so that the feelings can’t escape.

It’s about looking into the eyes of your biggest demons

and standing still with your whole presence when your feet are running.

It’s a day to choose you, once again,

because who else is left.

~

Ly Aunapu

author: Ly Aunapu

Image: Author's own

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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