2.9
September 11, 2019

Your Story will Not Bury You.

 

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I see you.

You don’t have to hide.

I will stand with you, exactly as you are right now.

When you think that the trauma you’ve gone through might be too much.

When you think that the emptiness you’re feeling might never fill back up again.

When you’re scared of the thoughts you’re having.

I will stand with you.

I am your future, though it might be too dark for you to see me yet.

I am standing in front of you, holding out my hand for you, waiting patiently for you to grab on and walk with me.

Out of the chaos.

Out of the repetitive thoughts running through your head.

I see you and I am here to tell you this is not the end of your story.

I see you when you don’t see a way out for yourself.

I see you when your voice shakes and you try to get out the words, but you just can’t seem to speak them into the universe.

Everything seems so big, and you feel so small.

You’re afraid if someone knew what was going on inside your head, you might be called crazy and “they” might lock you up if you spoke of your struggles.

The thoughts. The pain. The incessant voice in your head telling you lies.

If you were honest, your friends might run away screaming of your darkness.

Fear grabs a hold of you and doesn’t let go. It plunges you into the depths of your mind even further.

Isolated.

But I’m still here.

I won’t leave. I won’t give up.

I am calling your name, and I’m here to gently remind you:

There is no shame in your story.

There is no trauma too insurmountable. There is nowhere you can be in your mind that is too far away. There is nowhere on this planet or in the bottom of the cold, dark well in your deepest, darkest fears where you can’t come to me.

You should know I’m not just your future—I’m also your hope.

I’m going to stand next to you and walk with you as you go through fear and panic and anxiety and stress and grief and loss and hell, and I am going to still stand up beside you and tell you it will all be okay. In its own way.

I am not telling you it will be easy.

I am not telling you the journey won’t come at a cost.

I am not telling you you’ll want to take every step forward, because you won’t.

But it’s your journey and I need you to know:

It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

There is no shame in what you’ve done or who you’ve been.

There is no shame in what happened to you, or where you’ve gone, or what you wanted to do.

There is only me, waiting for you to step into the next moment.

The next moment, the next day, the next year. It’s all wrapped up in me and I need you to know that no matter what, it will be worth it to follow me out of the mess you may be in.

Feel your heart beating inside your chest.

Feel the air filling your lungs as you breathe in and out.

It means you get another chance.

You get another chance, time and time again.

It will be worth it to say yes to life even when it feels really dark and lonely and you’re not sure what I even look like for you.

I see you when you’re not sure you deserve it.

I see you when you’re afraid it might be too hard. The burden might be too great.

I see you when you’re not sure of what steps to take.

Speak up. Talk to people. Talk to me.

Write letters of what I can become for you, on your best and greatest day. Close your eyes and imagine what I could be for you, in the most magnificent way.

When the pain is gone. When the grief has passed. When you can survive the day and it all feels so much better.

What does that look like for you?

I want to remind you that it’s never too late or too early to get help.

I need you to know that your life has meaning.

This story of yours can all be for your good; I promise you. It’s not too great to bear. It might be too sad, or too hard, or too heartbreaking, but even still, there is so much good left in your story.

So much good.

There is laughter waiting on the other side of me, I promise you.

There are memories just waiting for you to make them with people you love, even if you don’t know who those people are yet.

There is so much beauty left to see in the world—outside at your feet, at your mailbox, in the sky, and even through the storm.

Even lightning has its magic.

You deserve a life more wonderful than you can even fathom.

Yes, you, I promise—it’s you. You deserve it.

Step forward and walk with me.

We can walk slowly at first, and we can take breaks, and we can take a step back at times if you need to gather yourself again.

But just take the first step.

There is no shame in where you’ve been. There is only hope for where you can go.

Get the help you need.

Reach out and talk to people.

Let people into your life, but even more importantly, get professional help. Therapists have been trained to help you through trauma and fear and grief and transitions.

You are worth it.

I see you.

Even when you don’t recognize yourself.

I see how beautiful you are inside and out. I see the magic in your soul.

Your greatness cannot be pushed down. Your story will not bury you.

I repeat, this story will not bury you.

Walk with me and step into the future that you cultivate.

The beautiful future that is brighter than you even know.

There is so much to see and feel and love in this world.

You deserve more than you could ever imagine.

Step forward and let’s begin to find it for you.

~

It’s Suicide Awareness Week, and local resources are available in your community for therapists and counselors that can help. Online and over the phone support is available as well. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 and available at all times. You are worth stepping out of the darkness. Choose the lifeline. Choose help.

~

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