9.5
January 3, 2020

I Will Always be a Difficult Woman.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I know I’m not made for rising
at your call, late at night, when the rest of the world is silent.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I learned how to rise for myself—
to keep myself warm during the cold nights.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I know I’m not made to be a hole
where you stuff your emotions.
I’m a human with a mind and emotions, like yours.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I know how to say no.

I will always be a difficult woman
because we definitely won’t always agree.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I was built to bleed
and it is messy but natural.
And without it, we wouldn’t be here.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I will want to have uncomfortable conversations with you.
Ones that we want to run away from and pretend don’t exist.

I will always be a difficult woman
because instead of running
I will stay. I will listen.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I will ask us to do more and go further
and it will show us what we are made of.

I will always be a difficult woman
because I see us as equals—
equal problems, equal pleasure, equal humanity
sharing our worlds.

I will always be a difficult woman
because for the right person
at the right time
I am not.

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