I gazed at my cervix for 10 minutes last night.

I took a warm bubble bath and then went to my bedroom, gently set up a mirror and flash light and inserted a speculum into my vagina.

As I began to open the speculum, I remembered how uneducated I’d been in the past about my body.

Not knowing about my vulva, clitoris or the inside of my reproductive organs just felt normal? It felt okay to not know. Like my partner would figure out how to pleasure me, my doctors would tell me if something was wrong. It was like that part of my body wasn’t for me so I’ll leave it alone.

There was so much shame around my body. I felt like my body was a burden during my period. I felt like my pleasure wasn’t top priority. I felt so disconnected from my body and my anatomy. But that also felt normal? 44% of women can’t find their vagina.

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So I gazed at my cervix for 10 minutes last night. When I opened the speculum up and saw that pink little donut I scream to my husband in the other room “IT’S BEAUTIFUL”

It was. I saw some of my menstrual blood. (Yay because I got my period today and I was expecting it).

I just sat there in awe of this body that I neglected to
learn about for so long. So in awe of my cycle. So in awe of the ability to explore myself deeper.

My body is mine to know, to hold and to explore.