With high workloads and exciting careers, we modern women often lack time to solve the puzzle of how to attract a man at our level—and help is coming from an unexpected angle.
No more time lost to commuting, yoga classes from home, or pressure to work late hours.
Quarantining pushes your nose right into the fact that you are alone while others are isolating with their beloved and partner.
The corona pandemic is giving rise to more dating, not less, and couples quickly discovered the “social-distancing walk date.”
But how do you create butterflies when you can’t kiss?
How do you enjoy chemistry when you can’t touch knees?
Above all, how do you prevent your social-distancing walk date being as un-hot as a lunch walk with a colleague or a round through the park with your grandma?
Here are five essentials. Use these, and your dates will have more magic, more sparks—not less.
#1: Meet Him
Whether it’s an interview or a date, people decide in the first minutes whether it’s yes or no. Men—just like us—are looking for an experience, not perfection. Chuck all the rules out of the window and come to the date with an open mind and open heart.
Meet him. Meet his energy. Meet his eyes. Meet his look. Allow yourself a moment to take him in. Refrain from all the standard platitudes. This throws the two of you right into the unknown. Suddenly, you are on an adventure—and that’s exactly where experiences happen.
If fear comes up, no worries! Fear creates that edge that gives more excitement and meaning. Just don’t allow the fear to bog you down into passivity. Dance with it.
#2 Build the Energy
Most dates fail not because the partners aren’t compatible, but because we kill the energy. Without energy, no date. Without energy, utter boredom. Now that the “classical flirt” with knee touching and drinking from the same glass has become taboo, it’s an amazing opportunity to work on something way more powerful: the spark between souls.
Stop judging him.
Open your mind.
What energy does he have?
What energy arises in you as you meet him?
Allow yourself time to feel, and then express it.
Be open to his response.
Rinse and repeat.
It’s simple, and it’s real. The energy between two souls is enough to light a city, and all we need to do is stop killing that energy, stop retracting into mind and judgments. Stay open, test the waters, share, and allow yourself to be surprised as that energy builds and takes you off your feet like a magic carpet.
#3 Eye Connection
The most ancient of all dating tips: eye connection. It still works magic. Whether you are two centimeters apart or two meters or twenty. In fact, one of my most sensual moments was during a fire ritual, with me and a man each standing at the other side of the fire. Our eyes locked, our pelvises locked, the surrounding faded away, and my pelvis was aflame, shooting energy up my spine until my body shook in waves of release.
The secret to eye connection is including awareness of your pelvis. Turn your pelvis toward him, open your pelvis for him, breathe in his energy, and be open to your own experience—as you keep that eye connection.
Just be aware, as the energy gets stronger, don’t forget the 1.5 meters!
#4 Breathe Him In
I already mentioned it: breathe in his energy. Let go all or any idea you need to impress him, or be funny, or be cool. In fact, let go of any plan. Open your mind, open your will.
Breathe in his energy, allow yourself to be touched from within, and express that through words, gestures, sounds. This creates a loop that feeds back into itself and that creates exponential growth. One of the craziest flirt scenes ever was Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in “Love and Death”—at the opera, in different boxes, using breath, eyes, and gestures—it’s the hottest scene ever.
One tip: if you find yourself stranded in talking about exes, corona, or work, it may seem pretty impossible to come to breath, meeting the moment, and radically expressing what you feel. Yet, the path is always open: simply allow your words to drop still. And go back to Essential #1: Meet Him. Remember, it’s not about being perfect, not about being awesome—it’s about creating an experience.
#5 Know There are Plenty of Great Men Out There
There are no mistakes. No failures. So many women tell me: “I’m great with my friends, but when I see a guy I really like, I get uptight and it just doesn’t work.” The only reason is, we tell ourselves this is our one and only chance and boom—tension goes through the roof.
Learn how to get the dating app algorithms to send you the top guys, and you will never be in scarcity again.
Remember the fall in the lake in “101 Dalmatians”? Millions of relationships began with “mistakes” and “failures.” Be open to the unexpected, meet the moment, say “stop” when you feel “stop,” and start taking more risks. And if he really is made of stone and digital chips, well, go on to the next.
Why My Clients Love This
My clients have been practicing this kind of dating long before social distancing hit our world, and what they love most about it is that it gives us women a way to act without demasculinizing our dates. I like to call it “feminine action.”
We women are amazing at creating spaces, building energy, and the social-distancing walk date is a perfect way to practice that.
Enjoy, and don’t forget the 1.5 meters.
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