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March 13, 2020

Dear Little One (Please Forgive Me)

My Dearest Little One,

I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you all these years. I truly wanted to be and I really tried, I just didn’t know how to. No one had ever taught me how to really see you and love you. I feel so much guilt and shame for failing you on so many levels. How will you ever forgive me? I’ve been learning how to take care of you and it’s something that I’m not always very good at, and for that, I’m so sorry for any moment I hurt you with my ignorance. For any moment I didn’t listen to you because I truly should have.

I’m so sorry I handed you over so readily to those who didn’t take good care of your heart. That should have been my job. I’m sorry they mistreated the most precious, valuable aspects of your true nature; the parts I should have cherished and protected. I’m sorry I let them. I’m sorry that I gave you up out of fear and twisted you into something you weren’t to try to get love. I’m so sorry I numbed you and quieted your feelings. I’m sorry that I got overwhelmed and shut you out.

I know you don’t have to forgive me, but I hope you will because I want to do better. I want to be better. I’m sorry I tried to make others take care of your feelings instead of allowing you to be as you were, right here in my arms without apology. I want to stay with you no matter how you’re feeling. I want to be here when you’re sad, when you’re angry, when you feel alone. You don’t need to entertain me. You don’t need to put on a happy face for me and smile if you feel like crying, or if you need to fall apart. I will hold you. There’s no where else I want to be in the world than with you, right here, right now.

You’re so very special to me, but I didn’t know how to show it. Teach me. I want to learn the ways of your heart. I want to learn to hear it’s whispers. What do you really want? Really want? I want to be your safe place. I vow to overcome my fears to take action on your behalf. You will never be powerless as long as I’m here. How can I help make your dreams a part of your reality? What do you long for? I’m listening. You were never silly to dream. You’re not a fool because you believe in love. You’re not naive because you trust. You have a beautiful, tender heart and I will safeguard it with my life. You don’t have to be alone anymore. I will take responsibility for you. I’m not going anywhere and I will never give you up ever again. You are mine and I am yours.

Love,
Me

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