After reading a proof of my memoir, my copy editor asked me two questions:
- why weren’t you responsible for your life?
- why didn’t you speak up?
My first response was anger. “How dare you criticize the way I lived my life?”
“I’m just asking the questions that I think readers will want to know,” she answered gently.
“Well, ……..I didn’t know that I wasn’t,” I responded a little more calmly.
It took me months to answer these questions. I spent a lot of time wondering, soul-searching, reading, and researching until I figured out why.
I incorporated what I learned into the final draft of my book, “The Second Piece of French Toast.”
Since then, I have been on an exploration and discovery to see what happens when we speak up. I’ve called it “Saying What Can’t Be Said,” “Saying the Unsaid,” or “Saying What You Don’t Think You SHOULD SAY.”
The practice is catching on with my friends, family, and coworkers. People are speaking up even though historically they would never have done so.
The results are miraculous. People are losing their resentments, creating affinity, feeling connected and experiencing higher levels of love and belonging then ever before.
My goal is to spread the word. “Say the unsaid. Get free. Then create a life that you love.”
Warning: It doesn’t always go well the first time. You have to say I and not You. If the person gets defensive, erase and start over without blame or accusation. Talk about yourself and how you feel, not about what they did. Good luck.