After 16 years of working in advertising and six years of parenting, I’ve done it all in pursuit of figuring out the ever elusive unicorn called “balance.”

I’ve worked full-time outside the home, full-time inside the home, and part-time in numerous combinations in between. And you know what I’ve found? None of it is easy. No moms have it easy.

In a world where moms are polarized, judged, and insecure about what “other” moms are doing, I understand the pain. I know moms always attempt to make their specific life situations and choices work. I believe every woman is doing the best she can, based on her situation, and that the pain behind every tough decision unites us.

I know how it feels to lock yourself in the bathroom to cry (just for a minute) because the to-do list, meeting, presentation, coworker, and client just got too overwhelming. And you miss your kids.

I also know how it feels to lock yourself in the bathroom to cry (just for a minute) because the kids, snacks, sandwich with no crust, potty training, broken things, stains, screams, and yelling just got too overwhelming. And you miss yourself.

I know what it feels like to have a million tabs open in your mind at all times. I feel the pressure to multitask between things all day long—flowcharts, cost outs, agendas, priorities, schedules, calendars, small talk, big talk, and more talk.

I also know what it feels like to come home and have to open a million more tabs. I know that the pressure never goes away. Don’t forget the part where we have to multi-task between the kids for two more hours after we get home—dinner, drinks, formula, feeding, potty, the dog, bathing, reading, music, and five rounds of tucking in.

So what is the solution?

I don’t believe a mom should give up something she loves to do, just because she has kids. I also believe that a mom shouldn’t have to continue doing something she does not love, just because she has kids.

Moms need to be okay.

Moms are best when they are doing what they love. Families are best when moms are doing what they love. Moms need to find what they love. And the guts to tell the world that moms deserve things in life they love, too.