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May 13, 2020

3 Things my 27-year-old Daughter is Teaching Me about Life while Sheltering in Place Together.

Check out Elephant’s Continually-updating Coronavirus Diary. ~ Waylon

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As the world outside felt like it was falling apart, living together in close quarters brought us closer together.

Us. Her.

This time together has been tremendous, incredible, healing, and transformative. As a single mom, I traveled often, came home late, still worked at night, and was often distracted and stressed.

I was all the other things, too. I showed up; was classroom and, later on, cheer mom; provided a great life; and went the extra mile as often as I could.

But I know—I know—that I had a lot on my heart and mind.

I’m just being real.

I’m 57 now, and my daughter Jess is 27.

She lives 40 miles from me, but when the sh*t hit the fan, she first stayed with a friend because she had a cough and the thought of getting me sick was more than she could handle.

She moved into my one-bedroom condo, which, if you knew our whole history, you’d ask, “Are you sure about this?”

Listen, I don’t know what it’s like to homeschool and I don’t know what it’s like to homeschool and work at the same time and be worried sick about an invisible enemy. But I do know about the wasted time that you don’t get back. And I do know about healing.

I do know about repair. I do know about the second and third chances. I do know about that. I do know that if you haven’t gotten it right and there is love present, you have a shot.

I do know that if you can stay in the discomfort with the feelings that arise, they will flee and peace will come.

And healing enters.

I have learned more from being with my daughter in these past six or seven weeks than I could have ever imagined. I’ve distilled it down to my favorite top three, because the list is long.

Here goes.

1. She prayed while I slayed.

Observing her various practices, as her mother, is one of the most beautiful things to witness. She has cultivated a relationship with her higher power. She prays, does yoga, meditates, uses crystals, pulls cards, and burns candles and incense.

She asked if she could convert one nightstand into an altar as we made my space our space. As she prayed, I worked, and together we found a rhythm that brought harmony to the home we now share.

I’ve come to know that she has always belonged to “Him” and not me. I had that confused. We think our kids are ours—at least I did.

I’ve learned what was, was. For her. And for me, and what will be is whatever we decide.

2. There is infinite abundance (aka, top-rated cheese).

Jess does the grocery shopping so there is less of a chance of being exposed to the virus. Returning from the market, she proudly announced she bought us the top-rated cheese in the world.

I’m intrigued by how she decided to purchase that over other less expensive cheese and asked if she looked at the price.

She said, “Yes, it was only 10 dollars!”

You see, she was laid off—but that happened outside of her and has nothing to do with her. She hasn’t internalized it as part of her identity. She isn’t “less than” because she was laid off.

Having had my own life experience with employment ending, and knowing the emotional toll this can take on others who have gone through this, I marveled at her inner wisdom. Jess is fully trusting she will always be provided for and there is abundance everywhere.

3. Everything is possible.

I’ve been “politically correct” for so long, I had to relearn what it means to be fully expressed.

In the front door of my condo walks my daughter, who is teaching me how to “tell it like it is” in the most loving way, with as few words as possible, truth intact.

As kids, we learn to play well with others in the sandbox, then move on to the grown-up sandbox called “the job,” where there are times you zip it and follow the rules of whoever’s in charge.

Now that I’m the CEO of my online life and business coaching company, I cocreate the culture of my company, get to surround myself with amazing people, and have incredible support.

She lovingly reminds me of my divine worth, encourages me to lean in during a difficult business decision, and supports me with love.

When I share with her that a client just joined me in a contract, her answer is always, “Of course they did.” She expects the Universe to deliver for us.

I’m aware this time is full of despair and difficulty. I’ve known many people who have lost loved ones, and I have cried many tears, while others have thought, “It’s not such a big deal.”

It is a big deal.

This is shaping up to be the most transformative period of my lifetime. What about you? Have you done any repair work? Sometimes you just don’t know where to start.

It may be too personal to share—or maybe not?

I know I’ve asked myself some of the deepest and hardest questions about the life I’ve been living, the choices I’ve made, and the life I will choose to live moving forward. It has been top of mind for almost every client (and the person I speak to), so if you’ve been asking yourself these questions, you’re not alone.

If you want help crafting a life you desire, we can do that from anywhere in the whole wide world. Finding me is easy.

With love,
Ilyse

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Ilyse Craft  |  Contribution: 285

author: Ilyse Craft

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Editor: Kelsey Michal