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Relephant read: Elephant’s Continually updated Coronavirus Diary. ~ Waylon
Social distancing with your sweetheart is one thing.
Cuddles, movie nights, silly dance videos, and tasty meals together are still on the menu. There might be a global pandemic going on, but couples are holed up and they’ve got their ride or die with ’em.
Social distancing is a whole other story when not partnered.
If you’re currently single, the longing for connection probably felt manageable before the mandatory quarantine. Girls’ or guys nights out and fun events right around the corner could easily lift your spirits and fill your “connection cup.” While there’s nothing wrong with being single, those lonely nights (and days, weeks, now months) start to add up.
The absence of that someone special might be painfully apparent right about now, and that can leave many of us wondering, “Am I seriously going to die alone?”
Don’t give up on yourself just yet.
Here are five steps to handle these isolating times, and walk out of quarantine more resilient and equipped to welcome the love of your life:
Don’t resist your feelings of loneliness.
It’s true what they say, “What you resist, persists.” Emotions are no different.
Remind yourself that it is safe and okay to feel lonely (and any other emotion, for that matter). You don’t have to like it, and it may be hella uncomfortable, but it won’t last forever.
The willingness to actually feel the sensation or heart pangs of loneliness will make it so you’re not so scared to be alone. Loneliness and fear of being alone are what drive most women to make tragic relationship decisions. Imagine what will change in your dating life if you’re no longer gripped by that fear.
Tend to your relationship with yourself.
I know, this one is a bit of an eye roll, but it’s super important.
The relationship you have with yourself is foundational to any relationship you have with others. Let this solo time be like a private self-love retreat.
A good place to start is to look at all the qualities you value in a romantic relationship, and explore how they exist within you.
>> Do you trust yourself?
>> Are you compassionate and kind toward yourself when you make a mistake?
>> Do you uphold agreements you set for yourself?
Treat yourself like a queen, and set the standard for how you’ll be treated in any future relationship.
Make time to release the old.
Now is the perfect time to clear out anything (or anyone) you’re still hung up on.
Still not quite over your ex? Still resentful about that thing that happened three years ago? Create some intentional time to examine, grieve, release, and process what’s been holding you back.
Journaling, dancing, and a conscious releasing ceremony by yourself can do wonders.
This is also a poignant time to have a phone call, once and for all, to clear the air, speak your truth, or offer apologies where needed. It’s hard to make space for new love when your mind is occupied by an old flame, so do the work to do some relational house cleaning.
Use dating apps, social media, and video chatting to connect.
Just because you can’t actually meet up in person doesn’t mean you can’t be meeting new people. In fact, this can be an ideal time to date online.
Always craved a little more courting and conversation before getting together? Tired of people connecting with you just to have a hook up that night? Well your prayers are answered.
Plug into the networks and see what’s possible. You can even have a video date if you’re feeling it—which, by the way, has very low risk involved. Having a not so great date? End the video call and instantly get back to your evening.
Build your relationship skills.
There are real skills required to have a rockin’ relationship. Hit up podcasts, read blogs, and order books on communication, intimacy, or attachment styles—whatever floats your boat. Equip yourself with relationship tools so you can sustain a gorgeous partnership when that special someone does come into your life.
Take this time to educate yourself and walk out of quarantine like a professor of love.
Being single during social distancing can be challenging, but it doesn’t mean you have to let it take you down.
The time you spend in isolation could be a major turning point in your love life. Harness this time to heal, reconnect to yourself, and set the foundation for a thriving love life moving forward.