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*Warning! Naughty language.
How to be an attractive woman 101.
You know them I’m sure—the women who go after their dreams, travel the world whilst earning a fat salary seemingly doing something they love, are irresistible, kind to everyone, and look good whilst doing it.
I mean, they’re paraded on our social media like a Victoria’s Secret catwalk.
We’re supposed to keep in mind that social media snaps are in essence a highlight reel and prior to that photo (the one on the beach, wearing the latest Fendi bikini, looking Zen, with perfect hair flowing over a cracking body that sits on a pair of perky tits), that they were performing mundane day-to-day realities, looking in the mirror with disapproval at their own bodies and having a tiff with their partner.
Yet, it doesn’t dampen the fact that the moments in the pictures happened and are their real lives. Their attractiveness is apparent not solely in their appearance but in their confidence and irresistibility conveyed in their aura—even through a photo.
*Writes whilst looking in the mirror at boobs with disappointment.*
I’ve been admiring these women throughout my 20s, and now as I approach 30, I’m thinking, why the fuck not me? Perhaps I should have filed this with “the things I think and never say,” though as I get older, I care less about others’ opinions—they really aren’t my problem and they aren’t your problem either.
Isn’t the reason we follow these women because we vicariously live through them—why can’t we live our own version of that life ourselves?
We are by nature women of talent: we’re enchanting, inspiring, and empowering; our emotions run deep with tenderness and our ability to express, nurture, and enliven makes us bloody remarkable. We’re all born with the capacity for achievement and success, our gift as humans is freedom of thought, which makes us eligible to make decisions and create and live the life we want.
I’ve studied these women in their wild and wicked ways and found that they have nothing that we can’t learn, create, or get. The noticeable difference is that they have been doing things in a different way, a result of alternate choices, actions, and decisions, creating different results.
The root of this flaming attractiveness is a mindset, one that oozes self-confidence with self-discipline, bringing with it the grains of success.
Lucky for you, I’ve consolidated the main aspects of this mindset into a quick read. Dip your finger into this elixir; it’s never too late to become what you wanted to be.
Knock your socks off.
The attractive woman:
Makes every day count.
She has a simple understanding that life is right now and lives the day as if it’s the only one there is—this fact is overwhelmingly overlooked by most of us. We seem to put goals, tasks, and whatever other shit we have to do off until tomorrow, or someday; often someday ends up being shelved and forgotten.
She has the “this is it” attitude, which results in getting important tasks done today, making daily progress toward big goals.
The attractive fox accepts the past is gone and drops it off on the sidewalk at the end of each day, the past isn’t able to claim hostage, and she doesn’t lumber the annoying brute around on her back, so her posture is on point.
If she wants to spend the afternoon, she spends the afternoon, if she wants to be a writer, she writes. There’s no waiting for all the lights to be green—in fact, there’s no acknowledgement of life’s traffic lights whatsoever, she’s on a red-hot highway to Dreamsville.
She efficiently gets the most important things done, whether that is getting up an hour early to get a workout in, staying late at work to eventually resolve in promotion, or writing the pages even when she doesn’t feel like it; she has the determination and discipline to follow through.
Has no fear and stays positive.
Put another way, she doesn’t give a shit about what they say, whoever they are; be it peeping Polly’s, doubting Thomas’s, or disapproving friends and family members. Faith trumps her fear and she isn’t wavered in her path by criticism or any other form of dream stealing.
She has great walls to deflect any negativity to her inner self and defend her purpose. She believes in herself, in the person she’s becoming, and knows she’s deserving of her dreams—in her mind it’s all already hers.
She doesn’t look at anyone other than herself as competition and can cheer on others because she knows there’s enough abundance for all. She grasps that what she brings to the table is uniquely different to what anyone else can bring, and being authentically herself is her superpower.
Thinks high to rise.
She doesn’t just want to be good, very good, excellent, or the best in her field—she wants to be the best in the world. As daunting as that is, she knows it’s possible because she seems to live by the truth that what the mind can conceive it can achieve.
Impossible isn’t a word in her vocabulary.
Recovers from setbacks and knows she can’t please everyone.
People are picky, beauty is subjective, and tastes differ dramatically. You might be reading this article and think it’s codswallop, in the same way that Joe Bloggs is cheerleading me on. The bottom line is that not everyone will like what you do and sometimes they feel the need to express that.
Learn, as the attractive woman, has not to take anything personally, it saves so much drama from happening in your life and enables you to do you without permitting anyone to shrink you. Our differences are good—if we all liked the same guy, career, car, purse, house, articles, style, or had the same morals, the world would be a dull place.
Knows she is loved.
There is no sign of the ultimate man repellants—insecurity and neediness—because she realises there are people who truly love and appreciate her.
More importantly, she adores who she sees in the mirror, not in a conceded way—there’s an unshakeable faith in who she is, that goes hand in hand with having the balls to get everything she wants from life.
She takes action and never lives in what-ifs.
She steps out and finds out. Taking action is what makes the difference. We all have fantasies of being richly rewarded for devoting ourselves to our ideal career, but even if Albert Einstein himself made the grandest plans, unless he acted on them, my mediocre plan (if acted on) would get better results.
When I’ve observed “successful people,” (in any category of what success looks like to you) I’ve noticed that they aren’t especially talented, more beautiful, more educated, or more charming, they literally reached for what they wanted, believed they could get it, got shit done, and keep on getting shit done to move them toward it. Let’s all take a leaf out of that book and get growing because success = attractiveness.
Now write those headings out, stick them on your refrigerator, review daily, rinse, and repeat.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-time pill to make you attractive: getting a makeover, or reading a book on “how to be sexy,” may very well work short-term but will soon after fade out. Attractiveness is a lifestyle; a series of habits and thought patterns, absorbed and practiced, that amount to a lot of attractiveness, in a whole package of consistency.
The best way to break old habits is to drop them and adopt new ones. If you long to be like those women we dream about, then the best way to get it done, is to do it. Live life a different way to get different results, adopt these thought habits, and live by them.
And missy, I don’t mean “try”—so many people try to do things, trying isn’t doing. You either do it or you don’t. Understand that who and what you are right now is a result of the thoughts you have thought and the actions you have taken throughout your life.
If you aren’t happy with the broadcast or you want to improve the picture on your TV, you change the frequency. You don’t try to change it, you change it for a better picture.
Do you get my drift?
Living your life according to these mantras will transform you into an attractive fox who magnetises men, business, success, and everything else, because it aligns you with your authentic self and your purpose—a woman in search of what sets her soul on fire until she gets it.
And that, my friend, makes you knock your socks off hot.