May 21, 2020

The Perfect Dark Moon Ritual for Cutting Soul Ties with an Ex. {May 22}


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*Whether astrology is science or magic, we’re open to most things, if they may be of benefit. ~ Ed.

“I realise there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting things go.” ~ Jeffrey McDaniel


According to the witch’s calendar, May’s dark moon in Gemini falls on May 22nd, at 6:38 a.m. UTC.

Venus in retrograde, May 13th to June 25th, opens an interesting portal around relationships and finances.

Venus in retrograde traditionally is a time when some love relationships cool—if not end altogether. Issues of intimacy and the heart will require attention, spurring either emotional growth to preserve the love or collapse under the pressure. Previous relationships may suddenly come to the forefront in our memory, seeking closure or healing.

The dark moon is perfect energy for banishments, and none could be more potent than that of releasing ties to previous lovers, including those we wish would have stayed, and those whose energy is detrimental to our physical and spiritual reality.

There are times when our heart and energetic body just won’t heal. The aura extends as far as four feet outside the body and directly affects our health and how we navigate this world. We may not be quite sure why things are not coming together for us, and the answer could be that we’re still dragging around the energy of a relationship or even a casual lover in our auric field without being in awareness of their influence. Or maybe we are in awareness, but can’t or won’t relinquish.

Additionally, though, we can verbally speak our intention to let someone go—but our soul may not be in agreement, even if that makes absolutely no logical sense. The mind and ego can form codependent connections in places we intellectually know to be detrimental.

I’ve written before about cutting cords with an ex.

This time I am sharing a “release ritual,” as opposed to a severing of cords. It was my own incredibly difficult life medicine that awakened the need for a gentler yet more profound closure.

Whether you are consciously uncoupling, or throwing daggers, what’s most crucial is that our luminous body reflects the ending of the relationship and that we’re neither leaking our own energy into the vast universe, nor being influenced by a previous Other. It is possible for them to continue living through us, or us through them, which is unfair in either direction.

Here’s what I’ve learned about soul tethers: They are formed through words spoken, through vows made silently as hearts knit together. They may be ancient, through previous lifetimes together, or they may be those of twin flames. They may be formed through the pain body, when the mind cannot let go of trauma or loss.

At some point, they can undermine our core beliefs and soul purpose, if we allow them to keep us hostage.

Some of my core beliefs around relationships are trust, integrity, non-ownership, and sovereignty. I value them enough to understand when I am not in integrity with my own soul. In integrity, I would not hold my ex captive with unhealed desires. If I am still wishing they were mine, long after agreeing that being apart is best, am I really honoring their right to a new life? By holding on to the pain in my heart, am I not still holding them to promises of love they once made?

We may want our ex to keep their word and vows, to mean what they said long after we have separated, but is that really serving any positive purpose?

If you are feeling betrayed and abandoned despite a conscious decision to move on, you are energetically tethering your ex to your unhealed love wound. That’s neither integrity nor sovereignty. What’s most important is coming into awareness of that, so that we can take the next step.

There are a million situations to which this ritual could apply, as varied as there are relationships and breakups. The main purposes are to not be in bondage to another, or they to us, to create healing and own our sovereignty, and to find a path forward aligned with our soul’s urge. If we can do this, we affect the whole of consciousness, our ancestors and future generations, with our emotional courage.

Somatic Release Ritual

*May be performed alone, or with a trusted ally who would support you, such as your coach or therapist—one who believes in the somatic healing process.

Please do this with intention and presence, honoring the poignancy of the ritual. It could shift your whole life; be prepared for major changes. As you shift, the universe shifts with you.

Create sacred space with music, lighting, and an altar built to your ritual (think any magical tools you are attracted to—whatever makes you feel that you are mindfully attending your ceremony).

You could have a restorative bath to connect with your body, to connect with the physical aspect of yourself.

You could chant or sing or dance to further ground and call upon any deities you would like to assist you. Call in the four directions. Call in your spirit guides or allies. Call in Pachamama with her vast, healing energy.

Ground and center through your feet, growing strong roots into the earth beneath you. Connect your energy to the crystal core of Pachamama, feel her diamond frequency holding you in a strong embrace.

You are safe.

Pull this energy into your root chakra, your heart, and your third eye. Allow it to illuminate you and bring you the clear vision and wisdom you need right now.

Begin with inward silence for as long as you need. Sit comfortably. Breathe in love, compassion, empathy, forgiveness—these are inherently yours as a child of the universe.

Honor all emotions coming up, including fear, longing, sadness, anger. Every emotion is welcome. Send these feelings and emotions down from your heart to your root, then from your root chakra down a sturdy cord to the core of Gaia. She will transmute all into compost for new soil you will later stand upon. You are initiating transformation.

Allow sufficient time for all this to transpire. There is no hurry.

Now imagine sitting opposite your Other, eyes and heart soft. Offer and receive gratitude for the medicine of your relationship, for the love, or the loss of love, the opportunity to grow through your union—whether this presented as perceptibly “good” or “bad.”

State your intention to liberate them and yourself fully, with integrity, to pursue your lives, new loves, soul growth, and healing.

You are both floating in space, with stars and planets all around you. It is a beautiful, comforting feeling. The tether of your connection is like an umbilical cord. Imagine this for a few moments.

Slowly now, imagine where you are connected through heart space, visualizing the tether, reaching from your heart to theirs. You can also intuitively visualize any holes in your luminous body (aura) where their energy is permeating yours.

As you are ready, gently allow this energetic connection to release from your heart. The tether will have roots, so also imagine those roots pulling away from you. Imagine the cord or cords, with the complete root system, disengaging from your body and energy field. You may feel this physically or visualize it—either way, trust that it is happening because you intend it to be so.

The roots may be shallow or deep, they may have become systemic and attach to other parts of your body, other organs, or places where you possibly feel pain or discomfort.

Take the time to feel into all that is. Please know that you are completely in your empowerment by making this choice. No one has the power to control this choice. You are the author of this and every lifetime.

You may say these words or words you have fashioned on your own. I’ve used these with great success in other rituals:

“Today I act in sovereignty over my heart and energetic bodies and with the intention of pure, unconditional love. I release (name) and all their intentions, known and unknown, toward me, setting us free from all contractual bonds, vows, contracts, and energetic cords, releasing to the cosmos across all realities, dimensions, and layers of personal perceptions. I release all codependence created by the mind/ego in relation to this. I claim back to myself all soul and heart fragments, lost to me through this relationship. I am whole, I am sovereign, and I am free—fully in my power. So it has been spoken, and so it is.”

Imagine the Other floating away from you, far away, until finally, they have floated peacefully away so far that you can no longer see them; they are absorbed by the deep vast, blue of the cosmos. You are alone, free; your breath comes easily; your heart is sovereign.

Heart soft still, let this settle, allow yourself to acclimatize to the new reality of freedom on your individual paths.

You may be feeling grief at this point, or you may be feeling joy. Possibly both. This newness, this freedom and ability to honor your past relationship and your future path may take some time to process and actualize, or you may feel instant integration. Just accept what is.

Tend to your heart now. Imagine it new, vibrant. Offer it the blessing of closure. Seal your heart chakra with a virtual turning of a protective light, moving it clockwise, much like a steering wheel on a boat. Undesired energy will not find a way back into this revitalized heart space.

Wander the area of your luminous body, see it as whole, containing only your energy, which now aligns with the crystalline frequency of Pachamama, and the pure light of Source.

Gratitude is your most valuable currency now. Allow it to flood your being.

You may want to lay in Savasana for a few minutes or an hour.

When you are ready, return slowly to the present moment, leaving the shamanic dimension you have visited. Integrate by opening your eyes, rubbing your hands together in prayer mudra over your heart center. You may want to gently or vigorously tap your arms and legs to return fully to your body.

You may want to journal, dance, sing, or walk in nature, or eat some fruit. These are all ways of anchoring yourself back into the physical world.

All that has transpired has been of your own will and intention. You chose this transformation. You chose to make a clear path forward.

Congratulations, Wild One!

Over the next weeks and months, notice what changes occur in your life. What has fallen apart or come together? What empowerment have you realized?

I would love to hear how this worked for you.

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