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Death and Rebirth. What does that really mean and what does it feel like?
To me, it’s like waking up one day as if you died and came back as the same physical body, same surroundings, but you know that there is this old life that you had that you can still feel.
And yet, you feel it slipping away rapidly and fast, you are trying so hard to hold on, to grip, to keep these last few memories that made you feel something. But then you realize you are not these memories, these people, you aren’t the you who lived this life. That old life no longer exists—purging and crying to spirit that you just want to keep a few of these feelings and memories as if they are still a part of you but knowing they are not and that they cannot come with you on the journey ahead.
They burn away…
All the while, tears are pouring out—shedding this past self, being purified, cleansed, and stripped clean so that you can move forward and build. This isn’t just letting go of one thing, or a person, a habit; this is being completely reborn as a new identity. The true essence of who you are at the soul-level—no restrictions or limitations of the mind. A light, a way-shower, a soul who dedicates and devotes her life to God’s work, to being a shining light, a guide, a teacher, someone who allows God to work through her so that others may be shown the way to the light.
She knows that this is her purpose, she knows this is her duty, but she loves it because she chose this. She chose to love and honor people.
This is the part where she finally sees the cocoon cracked open more than ever before; she has one wing almost fully out and has no idea that she can fly. She still thinks that she is a caterpillar, not knowing just how much she has changed. She knows that she just went through a massive change, and while she may somewhat think she is the same, she doesn’t feel the same—she instinctively knows she is not the same.
She’s hesitant because she knows she is completely different. She’s not too afraid of the unknown, for she feels she will be able to get up and fly—whereas she may have been walked on in the past. But something about having the whole world to travel, whereas in the past she had cities, this excited yet terrified her.
She knows she can’t stay in the cocoon any longer, but she no longer fights to stay in there because she’s come too far and nature will eventually tear down the cocoon and force her to fly either way. So, she decides to put that other wing out, and as she peeks her little head out and antennas, she feels freedom for the first time: true freedom.
She can go anywhere, and at this moment, she realizes that her life as a caterpillar is gone—it will never be and furthermore, it’s impossible to go back.
The process of becoming a butterfly from a caterpillar is not a reversible process, even if she went back to sit in that cocoon, she’d never ever be what she was. Her physical form, shape, structure, DNA, and abilities have biologically changed. Her entire structure is different—she literally changed form, and she realizes this.
She looks back one more time, and then ahead at her new body, and with a whisper to the heavens says, thank you. Her days of struggle are over; her days in the dark are gone. With excitement, she hears spirit guide her, saying, “Let’s go see what this one does.” She sees her beauty now, she understands what just happened.
She’s been given a new life. She had served her purpose as caterpillar, and while she doesn’t feel either one is better and she will never discount that life, she knows it got her here. That this, now is the next phase, and with this version of her, she has a new mission; a new journey ahead, a new vision; more space to venture, more room to explore; more freedom, and more beauty.
She is officially metamorphized.
Where she will go first, she has no idea, for she lets the wind carry her to her next destination and allows nature to show her where to go. During her missions, she flies and experiences the beauty that she is, and to her, this is freedom.
This is living. This is love in its purest form.