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This is for my tribe of empaths.
Have you endured narcissistic emotional abuse?
Are you tired of having to prove your worth?
Have you lost all belief in yourself?
Do you feel utterly powerless?
Listen up! This. Is. For. You.
I used to call myself an empath. I spent years in a relationship rife with narcissistic abuse. I lost so much power and belief in myself.
As soon as I started addressing my money issues, I noticed that I started to clean up and heal these emotional blocks. I was on the path to claiming my power. Money represents power in our culture. By addressing my money issues, how could I not heal those wounds of feeling powerless?
Most people think money issues are a character flaw or lack of discipline. What might be surprising to most is that many money issues are due to emotional blocks and unresolved trauma. No amount of budgeting and computing numbers will fix those issues.
As a Money Mindset Coach, what I really do is help people remove the blocks that are standing between them and their money. Some of these blocks come from:
>> Patriarchal programming
>> Narcissistic and emotional abuse
>> Our automatic story of “I’m not good enough”
>> Codependency and belief in yourself
>> Anxiety around authority figures
>> Our brain’s innate tendency to focus on lack versus abundance, or fear over faith
>> Our brain’s addiction to seeking pleasure
So many issues can lend trauma and emotional blocks to money, and today I’m going to address how it shows up in some emotional abuse.
So many of us with money issues were in relationships where money and love were given conditionally. They were things to be earned. Although money can be earned by doing a job or providing value, some of us learned that money was earned by sacrificing ourselves and our desires. We were taught that loving someone or wanting love is a job that we needed to pay for with great sacrifice.
Our parents or partners led us to believe that we needed to do what they wanted us to do or they would withhold love or money from us. This is straight-up emotional manipulation. But to us, it was love in the only form we had ever known. And, we needed to always do something more to earn it.
This is why we struggle with the idea that we have to do more to get more money, and we feel like we’ll never be able to do enough.
Maybe you keep adding more and higher degrees to your resume. Or, zeros to your salary. And it still doesn’t feel like enough.
Money is a tool. Used correctly, it is used in exchange for goods and services that you want. And, you can make plans to use it for the goods and services to create your dream home or your dream life.
The reason that you feel like you can’t ever do enough or be good enough for money is because your brain still thinks that you earn money by earning love and approval, and by doing more things.
That is not what money is for and most of the world is not accepting that form of currency. So, you’ve got to cash out there, and use actual cash that you earn by creating value.
You do this by taking inventory of your current value and worth.
News Flash: You’re already 100 percent worthy!
Like water is wet, your worth is not ever something you have to prove to anyone. Ever. The good news is you can stop working so hard to prove something that already is.
The next part I have to tell you may feel uncomfortable, and I want you to hear it as if it’s the only thing you can hear all day. Every day.
“You are an adult. You can want what you want just because you want it. This does not make you selfish. It makes you a human being with free will.”
Now you can stop acting like you owe anybody anything.
The thought that you owe anyone anything will make you feel obligated. And when you feel obligated, you don’t show up creating value. You show up paying minimal time and attention. You show up giving your minimal effort and only doing what is obligated.
The result is that you minimally fulfill debts and obligations to people, relationships, and jobs. The result is that you are not creating value.
You owe you your life, your power, and your belief in yourself.
Powerful thoughts make you feel empowered, and that drives actions that create value.
Working on my money blocks brought me to my proudest accomplishment. I’m so proud of my commitment to love and heal myself, and always have my own back.
I value myself.
And money goes to those who value themselves.