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July 8, 2020

Self-Love: Some Days, I’m Good at it. Other Days, Not So.

 

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I am not woke; I am not a cliché.

I am not the fallout from a few months of reading self-help books. I am not hormonal, crazy, or bipolar. I am just going through a process—my masterpiece in progress.

There is no end date, no level I can reach, and no finish line in sight. It’s ongoing.

Some days, I am good at it. Other days, not so.

But each day, something clicks, a tiny sliver of faith is restored, a layer of self-doubt removed, my neurosis tamed, my desire to flourish polished, and my awareness matured.

I recognize the patterns. I see the signs.

Serendipity is a companion that visits often.

I develop the negatives and march toward the technicolor.

There is no loss of touch with reality; I am no longer comforted by lies. I repel toxicity and actively seek out loyalty. I heal old wounds and carve out new best practices.

Friends who were are fewer. Family is more in focus.

Lovers are no longer pursued, and new shoots are encouraged amid boundaries being established.

Priorities deepen as perfectionism dwindles.

Loss is felt, grieved, and absorbed.

Patience is still not a virtue—but is an improving landscape. Acceptance is advancing as cynicism is curtailed.

Sadness, when it appears, is short-lived and intentionally diluted, my cup filled further with the promise of potential.

Fear is temporary and my anger is reserved.

Life is in front of me, never what is behind.

Roads meander, lanes are chosen, and forks and bumps in the road are encouraged and enjoyed.

Hope is the navigator, while experience is the host.

My eyes are open.

My worth is realistic, attainable, and clear.

Some days, I am good at it. Other days, not so.

My process is self-love, and I am dancing with it every day.

~

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