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July 31, 2020

For the Ones with Childhood Wounds: Let your Heart Break—Feel Everything.

 

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Many of us are suffering from a wound we don’t even know we have. 

I’m referring to blocked heart energy. It’s a closed heart due to past rejections, disappointments, dismissal of feelings, and being unseen and unheard as children. Those who are born highly sensitive and/or intuitive are more likely to wall off their hearts early in life. In a childlike way, we are trying to protect ourselves.

This reaction is in response to what was not done or said in our childhood. There is no event to remember, as in physical abuse, but it happens in many little ways over the years.

Emotional needs and expressions were ignored, belittled, or obviously annoying to your parent.

The message “You are not worthy of my empathy, time, or attention” was experienced repeatedly. Your feelings, personality, and uniqueness were not supported, cherished, or validated.

Childhood emotional neglect is passed down through generations. 

A parent who experienced it as a child will usually have low emotional intelligence, poor communication skills, mental health issues, or chronic stress and overwhelm. If they haven’t healed from this wound (which they are unaware of), they may wound their children in the same way.

Their parent may have loved them in a needy way—feeling hurt or taking it personally when they asserted their own needs and thoughts. They could have shown love by overprotecting, worrying, and clipping the wings of self-expression.

You may have grown up saying to yourself: “That’s just how she shows her love. I get it. It’s okay.” 

But there is a higher level of love you never experienced! It feels like peace, warmth, care, and trust.

There is an epidemic of blocked heart energy, and disembodiment in general, in our culture. We have numbed feelings from our body, particularly our heart, because those feelings have been mostly painful or confusing.

We cannot feel heart resonance with people, so we feel separate—never truly safe and embraced in our relationships. You may be smiling and happy to see someone, but it’s all in your head and your thoughts. You don’t feel it in your body or your heart. You didn’t know you were supposed to!

It’s the same as your ability to feel hungry. You can identify that feeling in your body. Your heart sends you messages through sensations, just like your stomach. You may have felt grief or sadness in your heart. They feel heavy or tense. But what does love, trust, or peace feel like in your heart? You don’t know because it’s been blocked.

You rely on your thoughts to figure out matters of the heart.

“Do I want this person in my life? Can I trust them? How do I feel about them?” 

You can’t rely on your heart’s sensations, so you doubt your power of discernment. You never feel like you have enough information to make a decision.

This is a disabling condition where you tend to doubt yourself, feel anxious, and have trouble staying in the present moment. 

What you need is open-heart surgery! How can you crack open your heart and break the wall down to let your emotions and sensations surface? As Leonard Cohen says, 

“Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

Let your heart break—feel everything. Reach down into the dark depths and bravely allow it all—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and start to really feel again. On the other side of that abyss is all the love you’ve ever longed for.

You’ll feel heart energy flowing freely, swirling around to encompass everything and everyone around you (including yourself). It’s been inside you the whole time.

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