5, 4, 3, 2, 1 … I gazed into the captivated eyes of my 11 year old son whilst he watched the SpaceX mission last month, at T minus 30 seconds his world had changed forever, as Elon’s dream was realised, his own was taking shape. I witnessed for the first real time true wonder entering my boy’s eyes, that sudden realization that anything was possible.

If I could have captured that essence in a bottle I would have. I would have kept the l’eau d’ dreams and sprinkled it around whenever we needed a little more belief in our house.

This was truly one of those life defining moments – it was a lesson in what can be achieved and whilst I could spectacle at the engineering and the technical accomplishment of the launch, my son could only see… Magic.

I do not want to be a pushy parent. I try and adopt a Mary Poppins approach, firm but fair. But like any parent my parenting style fluctuates with the moon. Sometimes I have the patience of a Tibetan monk other times I cannot stand the sound of their  chewing (this is normal.. right?) I know that I am not alone here, that is parenting –that  is life.

I feel an incredible sense of responsibility toward my children, physically of course, but mentally maybe even more so. Every parent wants the best for their children. We all want our children to be happy, do well at school, be fit and heathy, have strong friendships and build strong careers. This is standard stuff and whilst we as parents have a duty to influence positively, their paths will inevitably be of their own making.

My job is to prepare them, equip them and support them through every stage– but not to overly guide their decisions and not to make their choices. That’s going to be on them!

Its very easy as a parent to inadvertently discourage ‘big thinking’ in our children – this is never in an intentionally negative way, but usually in the vein of grounding them, readying them for ‘real life’.

We all do this; I am no exception.

My eldest son, who (this week) wants to be a downhill mountain biker will often talk to me about his dreams – of which I show enthusiasm for (of course), but also underpin with the cautionary need for him to have a ‘back up plan‘ and consider a ‘real job’ or a trade… WHY??oh why do I do this? Because I want to save him from disappointment? Because I want him to work harder at school? Because I want to protect him from a fall?

No, I do this because its preconditioned, a learned behavior, it is what is expected, its parenting 101. It is the societal tale of how things must be. When I consciously catch myself doing this, I try hard to pull back. Who am I to tell him he cannot achieve anything that he sets his mind too? Who am I to dampen his spirit? Who am I to try and influence where his desire and drive is headed? Yes, that may be the ‘responsible’ route – But it is the wrong one.

Am I just projecting my own insecurities onto him?

Marianne Williamson’s quote from her book, A return to Love has always been one that I have turned to time and time again, and really encapsulates my point she says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This is the greatest lesson I can teach them – and I realise, it starts with my belief in myself.

I wish more than anything that my children never lose the ability to dream big and believe that they can, that they are enough, that they are powerful beyond measure.

I hope that they forever remember the moment that Elon launched his rocket.