To the people who have lost hope:
I know what it feels like. To be in a never-ending dark tunnel. You try to walk forward, you sometimes go back. But the same is all around—pain.
Tears that soak your pillow.
It’s like an all-encompassing wave that is drowning you. No matter how hard you try to get back up to the surface, you can’t.
But trust me, my love, you can.
I want you to fight as hard as you can. I want you to fight like your life depends on it, because it does.
You have lost your soul. You’ve lost you. What brings you joy.
But you must continue, because you can regain yourself again.
You must fight.
Do whatever you can, even if you force yourself.
Get out of bed, dry your tears.
Stretch, do yoga.
Call someone, someone who supports you truly.
I called my mom to play me guitar while I wept for hours.
Reach out. And reach in.
Order self-help books.
Hire a therapist.
Write a poem, or draw a picture. Even if it sucks and you would never make a dime from it.
It isn’t about the money anyway, it’s about the joy it brings you. The creativity in you is calling your soul to return.
Refrain from unhealthy habits, such as drinking or binge eating.
I know heartbreak can be so painful that eating is a task, and you force yourself to eat as much as you can.
But your body needs nourishment. You. You need nourishment. So eat what you can.
Find the dorky little things that you adore about you.
One thing that helped me was to write about myself in third person.
From a third person who loved me for me.
Who saw the pain and the sadness.
Maybe a future self talking to my present self.
No matter what happens, you must continue.
It could be months or years before you feel better.
The pain may feel unbearable.
But I promise you, you are worth it. You are worth the fight.
Could you imagine a life where you never loved yourself?
Where you never followed your hopes and dreams?
It’s never too late.
I want you to push yourself to get out of bed, get out of the house, and do something after work. Anything. Go sit in nature. Go somewhere new. Please go somewhere new.
Explore. Look at the little things. The way the water ripples in the river. The way the bee is pollinating the flowers. How the birds chirp to one another while playing in the fountain.
I promise you, things will get better. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But if you put in the effort, you will get through this.
Please remember to always be gentle with yourself. You’re going through a hard time. You wouldn’t kick a dog while it’s down, so don’t judge yourself while getting over this pain. Don’t judge yourself for eating an entire carton of ice cream or for using an entire box of tissues in one sitting.
You are on your journey. And pain is a part of it. It’s the card you were dealt.
Do what you can to get out of this. Don’t shun it; it must be dealt with. But it will get better. And it may get worse again, like the waves of the ocean, up and down.
But eventually the tears will stop coming as much. The pain will hurt less. The days, hours, or minutes in between the sadness will be longer and longer.
And in the in-between moments you will find happiness and joy. You will appreciate the time you have away from the pain. You will laugh, you will listen. You will hear what others are saying, because the pain won’t control your thoughts anymore. You will wake up alone, and be comfortable. It won’t be the first thing that crosses your mind anymore.
When the thing that hurts you is mentioned, you may feel a tinge of pain. But it won’t paralyse you. It won’t make you cry.
You will move on.
That’s when you know,
You have fallen in love with yourself.