July 29, 2020

When You Want to Run from Her, Just Stay.

I still love you.

Yes, you, the one looking back in the mirror.

I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, and everything in you wants to say, “Fuck it all,” but stay.

Just stay for now.
Stay, because she is worth it.
Stay because you have been fighting your whole life for this moment.

When you turn toward her and whisper, “I am still here.”
When you want to run to another’s comforting arms, stay with her.
Stay with yourself.
When you want to run to food, booze, caretaking, social media, comparing, criticizing, perfection or busyness, stay.

Stay because you are tired of pretending to “have it all together,”
and because you need to rest.
Stay because you were born for this.
Stay because Whitney Houston sang,

“Give me one moment in time when I’m more than I thought I could be, when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away, and the answers are all up to me.”

Maybe the song was never meant for Olympic gold medalists.
Or winning, or perfection, or a life that says I “have it all.”

Maybe it was just this next moment sitting outside on a hot summer night when you decided not to run away.

You stayed with her, and that moment changed everything because she was the most important person in your life.


She needs you more than any of the others. She needs your joy; she needs your strength, wisdom, resilience, compassion, generosity, intimacy, and bravery.

Turn the knob, because the door was never locked.

She is patiently waiting for your return.

Just stay.

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