3.2
September 21, 2020

How to Live in Solitude. {Poem}

Masha Raymers/Pexels

Today I read an extract from Hermann Hesse’s writing:

“Solitude is not chosen, any more than destiny is chosen. Solitude comes to us if we have within us the magic stone that attracts destiny.”

This statement has a great resonance within me; after all, I am unsure if my solitude was chosen by me, or if it chose me. However, my connection with empathy and kindness to myself in my solitude is what matters the most to me.

This poem was born while I was contemplating on a long day behind me, a mundane day in many ways—filled with many conversations and productive ideas—nonetheless solitary.

I was somehow profoundly struck by a recognition that if this is only one of many similar days in my life, it is driven, coloured, and painted by my present self—seen through my eyes. I have left a stamp of my presence on people, events, and actions I undertook today while sitting on my own, behind my desk, in front of my computer.

It struck me that I am moving through cycles on the wheel of my existence, day by day, and beyond the ordinary, everyday happenings and unfolding, the essence of my being craves for an expression—one that derives from my solitude.

It craves connection with the universal truth; authentic me connecting to so many authentic others—others with the same feeling of inner knowing and with an acceptance of our “inside our own mind” lives.

Solitude

I would like to say
I didn’t choose to be born this way.
I live this destiny in dismay,
I felt unwanted, unloved,
For mercy, I prayed.

In my own defense,
We walk this earth all together.
We laugh every day,
We cry every day,
We rise to the sunshine every day.

Every day,
For good and for bad,
We walk this earth with hope.

Hope will say,
This is my life,
It will take me somewhere.

Somewhere decent and safe,
Where I honour the nature of me,
Where I take pride in
Who I want to be,
Where I have enough love,
Where life beautifully unfolds.

My mother would pray
For me to be wanted
and loved today.

Walk happy, with joy
To be myself today,
My father would pray.

I would like to say,
I don’t know why I am this way.
I would like to say,
It’s hard to be this way,
Purge innermost self today.

I will grow in suffering,
I will grow in faith,
I will grow in acceptance,
I will grow in love.
I will take all the light,
That comes my way.

I would like to say,
If I lived this way,
If I walked this way,
If I dared with hope,
Where do I stay.

I will grow in pain and love,
I would like to say,
I am grateful to be here today.

I would like to say,
I am alive today,
I am here on Earth today,
I am only me today,
I am here to stay.

~

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