One minute, you’re laughing and joking with the love of your life, going on about your day as it has been for God knows how long—and the next, he’s packing his sh*t.
However long it’s been that he’s been such an integral part of your life, it’s over.
And you’re left standing there, wondering what in the f*ck just happened. You’re left standing there, wondering what in the f*ck you’re supposed to do with yourself. When you’ve made your life centered around someone else for so long, and then that person just walks away without a second thought—what are you really supposed to do now?
You ask yourself why. You wonder what you did wrong. You wonder how you can fix it. You think of compromises to whatever piddly argument occurred to make him tuck his tail between his legs and run from you.
You beat yourself up. You look at every inch of your physical, mental, and emotional self with a magnifying glass, wondering what could possibly be so wrong with you that he could just throw everything away like it was nothing—when he was your everything.
So, you go about life with these thoughts and go back to whatever your normal was before him—except, it doesn’t feel right anymore. You’ve changed from your experience with him, and you’ve changed from your experience of being hurt by him. You must relearn who you are and who you’ve become. All the while still asking the questions, still wondering how to fix things so they can go back to the normal you had envisioned while with him.
To the woman he walked away from, let me tell you a couple of things:
First off, it wasn’t you. That is the biggest, most important thing here. Sweetheart, it wasn’t you. It was him.
Did he say to you, “It isn’t you, it’s me”? Well, believe him. Because it is 110 percent true.
Because any person who can get up and walk away so suddenly and so completely is utterly and completely broken inside themselves. Any person who can just shut down emotions like they were never there is not whole and complete in themselves. They need someone else to boost their ego and soothe their wounds. They haven’t figured out how to do it from themselves. They are not strong enough to stand alone, and therefore when confronted with a person who can, they run in the other direction lest they get pinned for who they really are—and that is a motherf*cking coward.
A man who can make a woman utterly and completely love him so as to lose herself in him, and then just walk away like it was nothing is a straight-up coward. Those are facts.
A man who can take a happy and content woman who is complete in herself and insert himself into her happy little world, turn it upside down, and then walk away isn’t a man—he’s a hurt child.
And when a “man” such as this sees that the woman has goals and aspirations, that she isn’t content to just talk the talk and not walk the walk, it scares him. It makes him look like less of a man when she’s ready to make leaps and bounds and he’s content to just sit and dream.
So, he runs.
This has zero reflection on you as a person, darling. It has everything to do with him and not with you. You have met and entertained a scared little boy who didn’t know what to do with a real woman when he had her, so he fled. That’s all.
There is nothing you need to fix, except your perception that something needs fixing.
You dodged a bullet—I promise you that. Because now you are free to pursue your dreams. You’re free to make those leaps and bounds without him holding you back with his “buts” and “what ifs.”
“Never compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got,” said Janis Joplin. And truer words have never been spoken. Don’t make compromises with fools to make them happy. Keep yourself happy. You can’t fix anyone but yourself, and you can’t fix a problem that isn’t yours to fix. It is on that man who walked away from a wonderful woman to fix what’s broken inside of him, not you.
To the woman he walked away from, let me tell you a couple of things.
You are beautiful. You are stronger than you even know that you are. You are wonderful and brave and smart, and this has everything to do with you and nothing to do with him. You were all of these things without him. You were fine before him, and you will be better after him.
Let that be his cross to bear. Let him see you succeeding without him and know that he didn’t have the power to break you. And let him be miserable on his own. Don’t let him drag you down with him.
To the woman he walked away from, know that you are better off without him.