November 24, 2020

A Love Letter to my “Broken” Mind.


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I always knew,
from the very beginning,
how precious you were.

Your creativity and imagination—
your ability to come up with marvelous stories.

The way you see the world in colors,
shapes, and patterns,
and how quickly you resolve problems.

Your curiosity to learn and understand,
always absorbing new information
like a sponge.

I always knew how special you were.

Until that winter morning, many years ago.
I felt terrified of you.
I couldn’t recognize you.

That morning, you became a stranger to me.
I remember you moving at such a fast speed.
So fast, it was hard for me to follow.

The paranoid thoughts are what worried me most.

And then, I was in disbelief when I heard the doctors say:
“You have a broken mind that can not be cured.
No therapy or medication will ever heal it.”

I started to believe you were broken.

In the years that followed, I suffered every day,
feeling estranged from you.

The medication didn’t make things any better.

I could feel you sluggish, lifeless, and drifting,
no longer having dreams,
no longer making stories,
giving up all hope.

The world around became dull and boring.
Learning anything new took a long time.
The painful reminders that
you were not yourself
were everywhere.

And then, one day,
to my surprise, you were back!

Who knew, after all these years?
The truth is, you were never broken.

Maybe what you needed was time?

Like a butterfly going through a metamorphosis,
you are no longer stuck in that chrysalis.

You are my beautiful butterfly mind.

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