Recently I’ve been contacted by many people and seen a lot of people knocked back from relationships or dating blows. Whether that was a message in e-mail, social media message or a conversation I’ve had. It’s of course going to hurt with any dating setback or relationship split. Today is not about saying ‘be single and don’t be in a relationship’, rather, it is about showing how you can find happiness whilst being single. I myself am a single man and would love a relationship with the right girl, but have learned to really like being me. I enjoy my company a lot – as well as my friends and family of course. The other main is message is that by waiting on an external factor to be happy, you could be setting yourself up for upset if you aren’t fully comfortable being you. I’ve also been there as I know many others have.
I have had lots of knock backs in the dating world. I noticed that when I was reliant on how a date was going and ignoring other aspects of my life, life became tricky. If dating the girl was going well, great, but if not, then I would be miserable. I got to an extremely low point with my self esteem and confidence that I did everything in my power to grow it and will do as long as I’m alive. Now I love my life and am proud of who I am. I have too much respect for myself to date the wrong girls just for the sake of meeting someone.
So what are these three secrets? Let’s find out…
1. Say those things you would love to hear from a partner… TO YOURSELF
What would be the amazing things you would like to hear from a romantic partner?
‘You are incredible.’
‘You are beautiful.’
‘I love being with you.’
‘You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.’
Well, start saying these things to yourself. To quote Marissa Peer ‘Nothing boosts your self esteem like your own praise’.
Make it a habit to say those great things over and over again. Every… single.. day. All it takes is a few minutes when getting up and going to bed. The greatest thing is that you are totally in control of these compliments and praise. Why not use a few minutes wisely to boost your self esteem than on social media?
2. Surround yourself with great people as much as possible
Can you picture a group of people or a particular person that when you hang out with them, lift your spirits? Yes? Well, do this more often. Hanging out with amazing people outside your romantic life will lift your spirits and positivity as a person.
I make sure I connect with as many like-minded people as possible, especially in the personal growth world. It makes me feel valued as a person. I like connecting with people in person (my extrovert personality). There are lots of opportunities online (especially in this pandemic 2020 year). One other recommendation is to sign up for courses that have dedicated Facebook groups too.
It’s about giving to people other too in terms of support, but with the uplifting people I’ve met when I am at a down point, I know they have my back. Try and surround yourself with as many people like this as possible
3. Something you genuinely love
This is probably THE most important one. Have you had a time you’ve been so absorbed in something you loved that you lost track of time? Well, make sure you have more of this in your life. Find something you genuinely love that excites you. This is something that will thrill you and make you happy, no matter what. Try experimenting with many things if you are not sure and be truthful, what is excellent for you, not what you think you should like.
We’ve gone through 3 secrets there to be happy above. It’s a very dangerous game when we rely on someone else to make us happy. When we become happy in ourselves first, this, in turn, makes a lot easier to start pulling the right people into our lives. Keep working on you as this will create a positive impact on others around you too. Never skip self esteem day. Thank you for reading.
Jonny Pardoe © December 2020
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