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Intuitive self-listening is one of the most important skills of the human journey, and is also one of the most difficult for people.
This idea that inner intuition is what points us the way to our correct path can feel like a lot of pressure, and for some people, can be excruciating to try to figure out.
There is no easy answer to how to become more aligned with our intuitive ways.
It takes commitment, discipline, and a willingness just to be a screwup in life.
The reason most people find aligning with their intuition difficult, or even painful, has nothing to do with the intuitive ways themselves. Instead, it has to do with our habits of self-blame, negative self-talk, and an attachment to things going right or being easy.
Because intuitive listening is difficult, yet so magical once mastered even slightly, let me offer some tips about how to make intuitive listening a larger part of your life.
1. Let go of thinking things are ever going to be easy or go your way.
Intuition isn’t here to make life comfortable for you.
Intuition is here to get you to the right challenges that will bring you the right opportunities.
Once you start to become grateful for all the things that are seemingly going wrong in your life, your intuition will flourish. I know this seems contradictory, but that is what intuition is like—a great paradox.
Don’t question that part, just go with it.
Be grateful for the screwups and your highest path will open and bloom in ways you previously wouldn’t have been able to imagine. You’re going to screw up anyway, so might as well let the failures open you to your path.
2. Learn to Listen to the Inner Yesses and Nos
We fill our world with so much noise and busyness that most people don’t know what the quiet, subtle inner voice that is intuition even sounds like. How can you follow something you don’t even know how to find?
This is why some time commitment is necessary if you want to have a better relationship with intuition.
Anything important to us needs our time.
You can use yes and no questions in your alone time to communicate with your intuition.
Use this trick with small insignificant issues at first before moving on to the big, life challenges.
When you are wondering what to do, just ask in your mind, “Should I go to the bakery right now?” If buying fresh bread isn’t an urgent manner, then the low-risk nature of this question makes it perfect for practicing intuitive listening.
Then don’t be in a rush.
Take a quiet moment and just listen for a yes or a no that doesn’t come from your mind.
Don’t make up a yes or a no with reasons or rationale. Just listen for the sound of a faint yes or no to appear.
At first, you might find the yesses and nos flip-flop back and forth or are hard to hear. Most things are hard when we first start them. Don’t give up just because you can’t hear it quickly the first time. Intuitively listening is something that needs to be developed.
3. A Few Steps Toward Working with Intuition
The only way to develop trust is through experience. You need to have experiences with intuitive guidance and then see that over minutes, hours, weeks, months, years, and even decades, the intuition was leading you somewhere that in the end feels meant to be.
This is not something that can be evaluated immediately. Patience, dear friends. Living the magic of an intuitive life requires a wide lens, lots of patience and as much curiosity as you can possibly gather.
The three steps of working with intuition are.
In the case of the bakery question, you ask, “Should I go to the bakery?” Yay, you’ve completed the first step, ask. Pretty easy, huh?
Then the second step is listen. This step is harder. This step is when ego jumps in and says, “just go to the bakery already, who cares what your intuition says.”
And this is where you need to tell ego, “I care what intuition says so shut up for awhile.” Or perhaps a more polite way would be to simply turn your attention back to listening to intuition and not fight with ego. But who are we kidding, we all will fight that ego in the end.
So, you listen and hear, “Yes go to the bakery now,” or “No, don’t go to the bakery right now,” or sometimes you hear, “Just wait a bit.”
Because this bakery trip is low stakes, you just do what the intuition tells you and don’t fret it.
Did you hear that, don’t fret it. I mean, I know you’ll fret it, but if at all possible try not to. But of course, the fretting is the doubt and now you spend the next 10 minutes questioning should I go to the bakery, should I not, does that little voice even know anything?
This takes us to step three.
Just do what the intuition said.
If it said go to the bakery, then grab your keys and go. And when you get there, the last loaf of bread is on the shelf, and then when you get to the cash counter, with five people in line behind you, you realize that if you hadn’t left exactly the moment you did, then you wouldn’t have gotten that bread you promised your mom you would get today—and you feel overjoyed that your intuition led you to the right place at the right time. Hooray! One point for intuition and a million points for you because now you will be more likely to listen to intuition again in the future.
Or, the inner intuitive voice said wait. So, you wait and the phone rings and it is the plumber you have been trying to reach for a week, and if you had gone to the bakery, you would have missed the call and your toilet wouldn’t be getting fixed today. Again, hooray. The mystery of intuition is becoming less mysterious and you got your toilet fixed. Double hooray.
Or you hear,” Don’t go to the bakery,” so you don’t go but you feel stressed because your mom really wanted that bread today, and you promised her you would get it, and you don’t want to disappoint her because last time you forgot to get the bread and she’s still mad at you about it. But the intuition said don’t go, so you don’t, but you pace around the house feeling guilty and worried and cursing intuition for messing up everything. And then your mom calls and says she doesn’t really actually need the bread anymore and you see intuition rules and feeling guilty was a waste of time. Look at that powerful soul lesson intuition just taught you. Intuition saved you money, saved you time, and taught you that guilt is useless. Intuition, the ultimate multitasker!
Now you are learning about the magical ways of working with intuition, and all you did was talk to yourself.
Of course, this scenario was just buying bread and the stakes were low. We will all have more serious decisions to make, and as we know all too well, things often don’t work out neat and tidy in the end.
Still, listening to intuition has this way of guiding us into our best track. Mostly, a track we never would have consciously chosen, but once we are on it, we are so grateful to be there, even if it is hard and challenging.
Aligning with our intuition is a process and a relationship. Nothing is instant. It builds over time. You can’t be overly busy if you want intuition to grow and thrive. Much contemplative time is needed and commitment is essential.
But the magical places intuition will take you is totally worth the investment.