December 1, 2020

You Can Love Someone & Still Choose to Say Goodbye.


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“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye.” ~ Tara Westover

There is a misconception in our society that family is everything, and because of that, we must stick together.

I am sure there are many out there who can agree that this belief is often forced upon us.

If only I had a nickel for every time someone has encouraged me to go home, followed by the statement, “They’re your family. They love you.”

You hear it all the time—this circular reasoning.

If they are your family, then they love you. And if they love you, then you must return.

These arguments do not always hold true and such toxic positivity encourages the continuation of intergenerational trauma.

As Tara Westover says, “You can miss someone every day and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.”

By encouraging people to return to their families because they love them, we could be encouraging them to put up with abuse no matter what.

Many of us struggle because we think that because we love them, we’ve made the wrong decision by leaving.

This is far from the truth.

You can love someone and still decide an environment is not right for you.

You can love someone and still say no.

You can love someone and say “enough.”

You can love someone and walk away.

Blood does not mean family. You can create any family you so choose.

The world is vast.

Be careful with putting people in your inner circle just because you share the same last name.


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