Our mouths are incredibly intimate, and they hold a key to some deep releasing, healing, and expansion.
Over the past months, I’ve been doing some work with the mouth and throat that has had a big impact on the journeys I share with you.
A while ago, on a growth group I was facilitating, I taught a practice of connecting with the mouth, creating an intimacy with the mouth. It’s interesting that in healing we’ll do all sorts of things in and with our bodies.
We’ll touch and massage and explore and do healing and pleasure work with so much of our bodies, including genitals and anus, and it’s so rare that we’ll connect with our mouths.
So, I shared this practice of a basic mouth massage with the group and everyone started doing it.
What happened was so interesting; for everyone, there was a strong reaction. For some, it was deeply emotional and intimate. For some, it was something that they couldn’t continue with after a few minutes—there was such a disconnect, a separation, a disgust.
As we worked with it over time, emotions from so far back began to emerge and be released, processed, and acknowledged.
I was on “The Lover’s Training” last year, facilitated by my fantastic friend, Valentina Love. During a Kashmiri massage experience, her thumb hit a point in my mouth that triggered something amazing. In an instant, I felt so much anger—engulfing anger—and then the desire, such desire to have her deep, so deep, as deep as she could go into my mouth, my throat.
After the retreat, I began exploring, doing, and teaching more mouth massages.
Our mouths hold deep emotions. Maybe more so than any other part of the body as it’s where we engage with and from the time we’re born.
We’re fed, and not fed, in a particular way. This may be fulfilling and easy, or it may be forced. From the time we pick things up, everything goes into our mouths. And so much is taken out.
When we begin talking, there are so many things we’re told we can’t say, words we can’t use, and from that, so many unsaid things sit in our jaws sit there for years—things that build up with us, layer upon layer, creating tension, tightness, withhold, and create a blockage.
Anger sits here, frustration, and shutdown.
There is a direct connection between our mouths and the nervous system, and when there is tension and stress, it contracts our nervous system.
So many of us carry such tension here, in our jaws, which connect to our nervous systems, to our necks, to our back, to our throat.
It’s so connected to our voice—for asking what we want, for saying what we need to say, for expressing ourselves openly, clearly.
It’s the voice of our pleasure, the voice of our heart.
The emotion of fear sits in the mouth, directly connected to what’s happening in our gut. We’ll feel it on our stomach first, our solar plexus, the tightening, the contraction. From fear comes panic—our throat closes, breathing becomes constricted.
We go into a pattern of survival, triggered by stress when these elements are activated. Mouth massage begins to relax this, to release so much of what’s been sitting in these tissues and joints for so long.
It’s deeply relaxing, calming, and brings a quietness to the mind and a softening to the body.
It creates an intimacy, a conscious connection with our mouths.
We experience so much of life, so much that’s vital through our mouths: eating, drinking, tasting, kissing. Not only are these sources of such delicious pleasure but also doorways to consciousness in the way we can experience our mouth and its sensuality.
The connection between our mouths and our genitals is strong, and we’ve found such sexual healing and release working through the mouth.
Nothing within us happens in a vacuum, everything is connected, and as we learn more about this, we find that so often releasing something not directly connected to what we’re working with releases what we are working with. These connections are not always so obvious.
When we think about how much of our sexual expression, how much of our pleasure, is blocked by not saying yes or no, by not expressing our boundaries and desires, by the tension in our jaw when we’re not touched in a way that’s loving, this connection begins to make sense.
It opens pathways of release and pathways of possibility.
Mouth massage becomes a meditation, a practice of consciousness. It opens a deep intimacy with ourselves. It becomes a self-pleasuring practice.
The more sensitive our mouth becomes, the more we taste; the more sensitive a kiss becomes. It becomes an incredibly intimate, vulnerable, and arousing experience to share with a partner.
And it opens up a deeper relationship with an aspect of ourselves that we generally take for granted, which makes us more aware, more conscious of ourselves, and brings what we do with our mouths to greater awareness.
I love this journey into ourselves, into our bodies.
I am in awe of what is continuously revealed, of how much of us there is, how to experience, how much to love.