There’s something interesting about touch, pleasure touch, and sexual touch.
We think that we need to move—all the time.
And for many of us, the pattern of movement is hard and fast—harder, faster.
Our bodies have become conditioned to this style of stimulation, both men and women. So much so that when a different touch comes along, particularly a slower touch, a gentler touch, we often don’t feel much.
I teach a lot about patterns of the body, the mind, and the heart.
So much of what we do comes from patterns—subconscious patterns—and the expectations they bring.
So often, in sex and pleasure, we have the expectation rather than the experience. We expect our bodies to do what they’ve been doing for so long, whether that’s fulfilling or not.
The healing work I offer is about changing these patterns in the body and mind—in our energy and our hearts.
So, what happens when we change the way we touch and the way we’re touched?
We start to allow for a different experience—one that is beautiful and has deep pleasure, an experience of sexual energy that is about holding, not moving.
It’s an experience of presence, and this makes it intimate (presence is a big element of intimacy).
It takes time, and this makes it intimate (time is an expression of intimacy).
Actually, time is essential when it comes to pleasure.
We, women more than men, often feel pressured in terms of time. Pressured to come quickly. As soon as that pressure is there, it’s about the orgasm only. That takes us out of pleasure, out of feeling, out of sensation, out of the moment.
Come. Have the orgasm. Satisfy. Appease someone else.
It’s not about us.
When we make time, when we have time, we’re honored. Our experience is honored. It becomes about pleasure—about everything pleasure includes.
Maybe that’s an orgasm (or three). Maybe not. It’s about your body expressing itself, your energy expressing itself, where it is now. In the field of pleasure, there are many possibilities, many experiences; orgasms are just one of them.
Time is an important element in the experience of G-Spot Holding.
Another element of presence this experience has, which makes it intimate, is, well, presence—being here with you, your energy, and your body. There’s a focus—a concentration. The mind isn’t in fantasy or anywhere else or all over the place. It’s feeling what’s happening in your body; it’s watching.
This connection is not about me doing something to you. It’s not about making you come.
It’s about your body, your experience, your energy, and I’m responding to that—to you.
There’s a surrender for both of us in this:
You to the experience, to the moment, and all that it holds.
Me to the beauty of giving, to my open heart, to the honor of sharing in the pleasure of the Goddess.
Here are the basics of the practice of G-Spot Holding (with a brief digression):
Many women don’t feel their G-Spot; it’s not awake, alive, sensitive. This is the result of physical blockages, emotional blockages, the past, guilt, shame, embarrassment, patterns, and conditioning. This is where release and healing come in.
When this magical part of your body is awake, the experience is possible.
Create a warm, comfortable space—a sanctuary.
Have whatever elements you want there.
Oil or lube. Blankets, pillows, towels, candles, incense, music, flowers, simple or ornate.
Look into each other’s eyes.
Connect your heart to his/hers, his/hers to yours.
Lie them down. Sit between their legs.
Take the time you need to settle—be comfortable.
You can begin with stroking her whole body. Take your time.
Then, come to her Yoni. Stroke her outer lips, the area between her outer and inner lips, her clitoris.
One finger at the opening of her Yoni, slowly circling, until there’s a softening that draws you in.
Slowly circle over her G-Spot, gently, until you can feel it’s expanded, swollen.
Then, hold that. Hold. No moving. No rubbing. Holding.
You’ll feel it when the pulsations begin.
Don’t move. Hold her.
There’ll be waves of pulsation—of throbbing.
It happens just like waves in the ocean, sets that come in from the deep and go back to the depths.
Waves, then a rest—a softening.
And the next waves come stronger.
You may want to put your other hand on her belly, just behind her pubic bone. This compresses the G-spot between your fingers. You can feel the outline of it through her belly.
Often with each wave, she’ll want you to hold harder.
Stay there, stay with her, as long as she needs and wants.
Stay still. Hold her.
When she’s had enough, she’ll let you know.
Maybe there’ll be orgasm(s), each one deeper, maybe not.
The orgasms will feel different from clitoral orgasms; they last longer, waves, ripples, softening into the next.
The contractions in her body are intense and need you to stay with her. Hold with deep pressure.
Sometimes there’s emotional release—sounds, tears. Stay with her. Your presence holds the space.
At the end, whenever that is, ask her what she needs: to be held, how she’d like to be held.
Stay with her.
Stay in the experience, in the feeling, in the energy.
Stay in Love.