*Editor’s note: the author wrote this from the perspective of a female in heterosexual relationships, but the same can be applied to any gender and relationship.
Loving someone is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world.
Or is it?
What happens when we like someone and have strong feelings for them, but somehow never know how they really feel? Moreover, things always seem way more complicated as far as they are concerned. That, my friend, is what happens when someone does not have good intentions about the relationship we share with them.
There is always something or other that is going wrong whenever we are with them, and we never really feel happy. The bad times overshadow the good ones, but we find it difficult to let go because of our deep feelings for them.
How do we know whether he is genuine or is simply playing manipulative mind games?
Seven Mind Games Men Play With Women:
1. We never understand our equation with them.
When we are with a man who plays mind games with us, we have a hard time understanding where we stand in his life. It will be a constant hot and cold situation, and for the most part, we feel lost and alone.
No matter what we do, things will always seem confusing, and this “almost relationship” makes us feel crazy. Even if we try to talk to him about this, he will either refuse to talk about it or avoid it altogether.
2. They constantly put us down and make us feel bad about ourselves.
When they constantly insult us, degrade us, and show absolutely no remorse about it, it just proves that we are with the wrong person. They love doing this, and putting us down makes them feel better about themselves and their flaws. They have zero respect for us, and that’s why they don’t deem it necessary to treat us with a little bit of class and compassion.
Men who genuinely like us will never treat us like this. They will never find happiness in our sadness—only a man with toxic tendencies will. They will never make us feel bad about ourselves, and will always try to make us feel loved.
3. Self-deprecating thoughts consume us.
When we are constantly made to feel bad about ourselves and negative thoughts are fed to us every second, it’s natural to start believing them after a point. Such men manipulate and gaslight women into thinking that they can never do anything right, and they are just not good enough.
This gets to us, and we start thinking that maybe they are right. Maybe the problem is indeed in us, and that’s why they don’t want to get into a serious relationship with us. This breaks our spirit and our sense of self-worth.
4. It’s always us who initiates things.
We always call, text, and plan dates, but they never do. What makes this even worse is that they reject our plans and advances constantly and make us beg for their time and attention. Such men manipulate us in such a way that we work double hard to get even a little bit of their time.
This kind of treatment can make us feel unwanted and disrespected, and we constantly wonder why he is ignoring us when he “likes” us and has “feelings” for us. People with such toxic tendencies love it when they see a woman go out of her way to spend time with them.
5. Comparing us with others is their favorite game.
When he compares us with other women, especially his ex-girlfriends, he is manipulating us into doing his bidding and giving in to his demands. He might not tell us stuff like, “my ex-girlfriend was hotter than you!” or, “My female friends are way cooler than you, and you suck!” but he will do it in a smart way.
Whenever there is an argument, he tells us that this is the first time someone is having problems with him, implying that he is perfect and we are the problem. Or he might say that our friends are more spontaneous than us, as a way of manipulating us into being who he wants us to be.
We end up feeling imperfect, upset, and wonder what it is that we are doing wrong.
6. They are always trying to turn everyone against us.
I remember I once dated this guy who criticized and badmouthed me in front of almost all my close friends and family. Naturally, many of my closest friends used to misunderstand me and think that I was being paranoid and overreacting about the smallest of things. It was crushing.
Toxic men do this so that nobody is on our side in case there is an argument, and nobody believes us when we actually expose the truth. Isolating us from our loved ones gives them a weird kick, and seeing us alone, insecure, and defeated makes them feel happy on the inside.
7. Deep down inside, we know they are not good people.
When we feel it in our gut that the person we love is not the right one for us, we need to trust it. This is our soul speaking to us and trying to warn us that he is not worth our time, and we deserve much better in love. No matter how positive we try to be, there is always this nagging feeling that never seems to leave us.
Maybe it’s something he is doing or saying that is making us feel this way, but whatever it is, don’t ignore it. When our gut speaks to us, we should listen to it, trust it, and do what our instincts are telling us to do.
Loving someone who doesn’t love us, and only wants to hurt our feelings and put us down is going to cause us more pain. We don’t deserve such manipulative mind games, and most of all, we don’t deserve to go through this pain every day.
We deserve to be with someone who will genuinely love us, treasure us, and count themselves lucky to have us in their life.