May 10, 2021

Weathering our Relationship Storms.

Life is often compared to seasons—adjusting to the changes, knowing these changes are coming, and even though we know we cannot fully prepare, we still try.

Relationships to me are a bit different; they are more related to the weather—unpredictable, beautiful, and chaotic. I can run in fear of the storms or sway with the forces of nature.

The key in doing this is grounding my values: what is truly important to me?

Sometimes, this shifts and changes for me given the circumstances, which tells me my boundaries are still a bit porous, but that is okay! Self-accountability and self-awareness are key players on my healing journey that need to walk alongside me on my path and not be left to fight the boundary battle alone for me. Responsibility for my emotions and actions is also a key component, as my ego continues to take a back seat.

The more I continue this path, the more aligned and connected I feel to her, our Mother, Pachamama, Mother Nature, Gaia. The more I feel her energy and moody shifts, the more I feel the energy and shifts in my own body.

I am her. I am nature.

I am the testy unpredictable storms and rolling tides.

I am the undressing of seasons.

I am a destroyer—chaotic and dark.

I am a healer—calm and light.

For every raindrop that falls alongside my tears. For every wind gust that carries my breath. For every thunderstorm that rages in sync with my breakdown. For every sunbeam that warms my heart and bursts and radiates out. I embrace it all.

The next time you find yourself being swept up into chaotic weather, take a step back, breathe, and remember to listen to your body. You might be used to the thrill and excitement of a hurricane (it might even be comforting if that is all you’re used to), but summer storms can teach us so much more.

I am used to whirlwind hurricanes.

Violent winds and whipping rain slamming into a once peaceful, sun-kissed coastline.

A moment of calm, hope, and light followed by more chaos.

Destruction, fear, and panic set in as I run for my life, seeking a safe bendable structure.

He was not a hurricane.

He crept in as a slow and steady summer storm, rolling in off the emerald prairies.

He was welcomed after such a soulful suffocation as I gasp back up for air.

His clouds flooded into my space, tender, quiet, and peaceful.

His rain, although heavy, was controlled and steady.

His thunder, so comforting, strong, resilient, and soothing as it shook my skeletal foundation. It rattled my world only as much as it needed to.

His lightning fierce and electric as it coursed through my veins. Each touch sending electrical shocks throughout my body. My synapses firing like fireworks on the Fourth of July.

His winds carried secrets only meant for my ears to hold.

His words carried nectar only meant for my lips to taste.

When he left, I mourned his loss while simultaneously appreciating our soulful dance and embrace. I rejoiced in the beauty and flowers that have grown from this impactful encounter.

The dew dampened my feet as I danced in the morning celebrating the new life he brought.

Embrace the storms ahead, for they will always build strength and bring hope, despite the destruction or new life they leave behind.



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