Every other Tuesday
My Identity Crisis Surfaces
Rears up Its “I Don’t Belong Here” Head
From Deep Within My Soul

Hanging Onto a Busy Buoy
Deep In the Middle of a Turbulent
Blue Green Screaming Ocean
Bobblng and Bouncing
All Over the Damn Place
Upside Down
Inside Out
Foaming Waves Into My Mouth

My Identity Anchors
All Gone with the Winds of Time
Vanished
Poof

You know the ones who kept me
Tethered to Who I am
And Carried Me Onward to
My Higher Self

Until I lost both of those Souls
I was able to Function in Life
Sometimes Wobbling
But at least able to maintain a
Friendly Facade

Now, they have both passed on
To Greener Over the Rainbow Spaces
Far from my grasp for the
True Love and Cosmic Grace
They gave me for so very long

A woman and a dog
A mentor and teacher
A friend and bast friend
Both made me laugh a lot
And kept me grounded
In something called Reality

Now how am I supposed to
Go on without them
Live the Life I Once Knew
Hold Onto Their Faded Embraces

Ok Cici barks at me from the Great Beyond
Every so often
And Rannette speaks to me
In my dreams at night

Knowing I Was Somebody
Who mattered to Someones
Now I am Nobody
Invisible and Alone
Without the Hope They Both Offered Me
Generously and Graciously
Joy and Comfort and Sustenance
Encouragement and Peace

Knowing Who I Was
Does not really help me now
In Knowing Who I am Today

Traveling seemingly Alone on my Journey
The next phase of my life a steep mountainous terrain
A Long and winding highway seemingly without hope

Forlorn, adrift with only the memories of what
Used to Be Once Upon a Time
They are behind me
Nowhere is In Front of Me
A Bleak Tomorrow Ahead

Black and Vast is the Road
I Linger Too Long in my much Cherished Melancholy
Yearning for things I can no longer be, do and have
With friends I can no longer see or touch
And Laugh with