June 4, 2021

Tonight, I’m all alone, here without You.

“How can we be awake, looking at the same moon, but we are both living in different tides?”

I’m curious how we are living this same night with different perspectives.

I’m alone watching the moon and the tides while you’re off doing I do not know what. It’s curious because I don’t mind. I’m not looking to know what it is you’re doing. But it just overwhelms me how beautiful this night sky is, and I’m here all alone without you.

I’m enjoying this beautiful night and watching the moon. Listening to the waves is a restful experience.

But why do I want you here?

I’m okay. I’m calm. I’m in peace. There is a piece of me that can’t stop thinking about you. The waves are breaking fast and retracting slowly while the moon shines fully. I can’t help but wonder what it is you may be thinking right now. We are both in different tides but the moon is rightfully placed so we can both enjoy the same view.

I wonder what it is you are feeling while I’m here all emotional, feeling the breeze on my face, the light shining onto my surroundings and the sound of the waves breaking while I do not know what you are thinking. It is marvelous how we can exist at the same time, living in different tides. It is a weird thought that whoever we end up with has no idea who we really are. We may share our life with them but who truly knows what we have inside? I look forward to sharing a life with someone who understands how we are both united but not dependent. We can both have our lives and just decide to share them with each other. It is a choice.

We all have a choice in this endless circle of a beautiful life.

You may not love your present life, but you may have to ask yourself if where you are right now was a choice or if you had no control over it. Most of the time it is defined by our choices, and we have to understand that it is still okay. It is okay to make the wrong choice because what matters is that you followed through.

You chose. That is what truly matters.

We are different. We are unique. I will learn to love you, and you will learn to love me—no matter what it takes. It is all we can do under this uncertainty. We may never truly understand ourselves or our partner but we choose to try to understand.

We choose to make it work. We choose to ride the wave until we can’t stand up anymore. We may fall. We may hurt. But we will know it was a choice.

How can we be awake looking at the same moon but we are both living in different tides?

Who knows where life will take us? But wherever that may be, I just hope it is by the same moonlight and by the same ocean tide that this night will bring me just a little closer to your side.


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