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June 5, 2021

The uncontrollable Pain of being Dumped over Text.

Everyone, at some point, has been through a breakup.

It’s a pain-filled upheaval that feels like the world created before us is torn apart, and the roots that we thought were the foundations of life are cruelly cut down. 

Some experience a breakup of a relationship due to no one’s fault. Sometimes, it’s just two people who fell out of love with each other or were never in love in the first place. Other people, however, experience infidelity in a nonmarital situation with a partner who has strayed and broken their trust. But often, it’s the way people find out about the breakup that causes more pain than the act itself.

Below is a thorough, heartfelt description of how it feels to find out about being dumped via everyone’s favourite way these days…the text message.

If you have ever experienced a breakup through a text message, you might feel each and every word of this article. But know that you are not alone and that it always gets better. 

The feelings rise up inside me, overwhelming my senses. My brain electrified and I shudder with the shock of a thousand sparks hitting my naked flesh.

What have I just read? This can’t be real…

I am numb as a thousand invisible emotional punches connect with my gut, forcing me to my knees, as my face tightens, and my eyes close hard as the tears begin to swell in the ducts that feel like they’re on fire.

My breathing gets heavier, and I feel my body go into a shock-induced panic attack. I grip the floor. My nails claw into the hard wooden floor. My voice breaks as a pain-filled moan fills the space surrounding me. My heart feels shattered as it beats uncontrollably like it’s about to erupt from my chest cavity, spilling out across the floor.

I must breathe. Please breathe.

I run a thousand scenarios through my head, automatically blaming myself with no justification as to why I am even doing so. The “whys,” “what is,” “ifs,” and “when” weigh heavy on my soul as I look to the universe for answers. It’s amazing how many people turn to a God they don’t believe in when the chips are down and they’re facing the dark abyss that is calling them in.

Why God, why? Did I do anything wrong to deserve this?

The question still repeats over and over as my emotions manifest into tears that begin to stream across my face. My eyes sting, like a wasp has directly injected its poisonous barb into my iris. I feel it take hold, blinding my vision with a tsunami of pain-filled emotions that wash over me.

I struggle to see as I continue to wipe the tears from my eyes. But with each brush of flesh on flesh, I wipe the memories away as they hit the floor in a puddle of wretched hurt.

I read the words over and over again, but I can’t reply. The words would be gratification for the person who sent it. Why would I give them the satisfaction of watching me plead for a glimmer of hope when they deserve nothing but the realization of what they had lost?

I vow to never take them back into my warm heart but instead, to close the door to keep them out in the cold. I hope they’d emotionally freeze and their bitter hearts would shatter as mine did. If they want to play away, then they’ll have to endure their own pain that will ultimately follow them. Let them play their games, but the jester in the court is also known as the fool.

I put the phone down and breathe as I put one hand to my face, holding the pain inside me as I put the kettle on. I fix myself a warm drink to settle the nerves.

I pick up the phone, scroll to the name that caused this much pain, and press delete.

 

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