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Ever been sharing your achievements with a group of people when suddenly someone cuts you off and starts talking about what makes their cooking better than others’?
It seems to me that a new pandemic is on the rise. It’s been there the whole time, but as I am growing up, I’m starting to notice it more and more.
Some people just love to talk about themselves.
And it isn’t just that. They only like to talk and refuse to listen. They may not even mean you any harm or trying to undermine your stories or achievements. They simply aren’t listening in the first place.
I’ve been to many gatherings, and trust me when I say this, I probably have said only one or two words the entire night. Being a listener rather than a talker, I never had the guts to cut someone off, even if they rambled on for more than an hour. I gave them my full attention, replied with advice (if asked for) and understanding, and even encouraged them to tell me more details.
But with time, I noticed that those particular people didn’t really care about me, or my health, my day, or my achievements and news. They would focus on their phones when I finally gathered the courage to share my experience, cut me off and start a topic centered around them, or excuse themselves because they suddenly were busy with something else.
For a while, I wondered if I just wasn’t an interesting talker, but when I had this conversation with other listeners, or people who weren’t obsessed with themselves, they agreed that they felt the same as I did.
We are not the issue. The self-absorbed people who live to overshadow others are.
There are several signs to spot such people:
>> They see things only from their perspective.
>> They only participate in a conversation that revolves around them.
>> They impose their opinions on others and expect those people to act as they see fit.
>> They usually lack the attention they want in their personal lives and try to compensate for it by hoarding this attention from their social circle.
>> They are arrogant and devalue the interests of others.
>> The problem is always you and not them.
Maybe you’ve recognized these signs in some of the people in your own life. It is not enough to only recognize them, but to deal with them as well, for some of those people may be close friends, family members, or even coworkers.
Here are some ways to deal with them, according to Oprah Daily:
>> Setting boundaries.
It may seem difficult at first because we are afraid to offend them, but setting boundaries is important. We don’t have to be blunt about it, but we can be honest about our feelings and ask them to meet in the middle. We can tell them that we’d like to be heard more often, and if they don’t listen, we can take a step back and limit our relationship with them, which brings me to the next point.
>> Going radio silent.
We are not talking about completely disappearing from someone’s life forever. However, disappearing for some time or having no reaction whatsoever to their conversations with us may stir their thinking.
For me, this has worked really well with certain people. You get what you give (in this case).
>> Examining their selfishness.
If the self-absorbed people you know are never there for you but expect you to always be there for them, are they really your friends/partner/family? They may be one by name, but not by actions. Sometimes, when our relationship with people is draining us to a complete loss of energy, it is better to just step away.
We need to make use of our precious life by building supportive circles and working on our peace of mind. Wasting our time on people who are only there to hurt us is not worth it.
Take a moment for yourself and think. Did anyone pop in your mind while reading this article?
Remove toxicity from your life.
Filter your circle.
Start seeking peace.
God knows you deserve it.
Check out the following video for more details: