At the root of much of our ancient programming—you know, those little tidbits marked off as “culture”—lies within us the activation of the patriarchy.
It’s the piece of our societal structures and conditioning where we said, “Women literally have colder blood than men, and therefore cannot evolve as efficiently—thus making men superior and perfect.”
Okay, Aristotle said it. But we took it for truth and unraveled it ever since. We mistook it for a primal and natural inevitability of our species when in fact it is a man-made construct.
And if we aren’t aware by now, it’s rather detrimental.
The idea that women are somehow weak, unimportant, incapable of evolving or holding substantial to creation is absolutely downright bigotry and baffling.
The patriarchy has been perhaps the largest power play in control of many cultures, religions, family dynamics, work fields, in education, and literally in the entire universe.
Men have “evolved” to the point that we have now witnessed an ever-growing rate of abuse, predation, coercion, control, belittling, shaming, and overall misogyny toward women. We have even taught people of all cultures that God is a man.
That somehow, our creator is not at all symbolic or macrocosmic of the woman. You know, the one with a womb. With a connection to the ethereal spirit realm—that calls in, embodies, and births spirit into human children. Nope, there must be no connection whatsoever. *Eye roll*
But, I’ll get to that another time.
I know it can be mind-blowing and feel wrong when reading that for the first time. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t honor and respect men. It doesn’t mean that as a woman who fights for women’s rights and honestly wants to tear down the patriarchy that I want to go right to hell with men. No.
But it’s not even the men themselves who are in leadership that I blame. And especially the white men.
What I am against, however, is the idea that they are the only ones who can be there. That we have to keep denying women the rights to get there. Women, people of color, people of other religious and spiritual cultures and heritages, and especially women of color.
It limits all of us.
And because of it, not only have we seriously lost touch with some of our most ancient and sacred spiritual teachings and true tribe culture as a collective—and our worldly opportunities as women—but deep within the heart and core of all women lies the structures of the patriarchy. Men too.
Because it goes back so far and deep, we are all made up of it.
Men have an inherent feeling that they are superior, dominant, in control, worthy, prosperous, powerful and resourceful. Woman have an inherent feeling that she is somehow naturally inferior, submissive, out of control, unworthy, in scarcity, weak and deprived.
This couldn’t be any further from the truth. A distortion that has caused damage to women for eons.
And even if we feel like we aren’t playing out the dynamic, it is still cellularly alive in us and will likely show its face in one way or another in our reality.
Even if we feel like women have rights to vote, become president or CEO these days—right of course. But there are still energetic constructs at play that keep us (women) from continuing to expand in those areas.
Meanwhile, here is where the patriarchy is still alive in women today, and what we can do about it:
I know I don’t need to talk about the rampantly alive sexual and physical abuse that takes place against women pretty much every day, right?
Or the fact that when women want a raise, the promotion, or want to make it to the top, the white man always gets their right away, right?
Or when a woman looks to voice her claim, she is met with gender power plays from men about how she’s not superior enough and therefore literally not even heard.
Or the fact that the highest number of people in poverty today are women.
Or that none of the religions we know today declare women as important or even as real as men.
Or the vast majority of parenting, home-making, cleaning, caretaking, nurturing roles being done in the household are still held together solely by women.
How about the fact that when men decide after the birth of their children that they aren’t fit to be fathers and they disappear—they get away with child support, but if a mother were to do that, she’d be charged with abandonment and neglect?
You know those moments when mothers say, “I’m overwhelmed, and I need space?” Yeah, we’ve got to believe and grant her the time and space she needs. Because a great gist of the detriments of the patriarch have always involved women solely being mothers and nothing else—it is in motherhood where these core wounds activate and ask to be dismantled.
We need to give our women partners and mothers the nourishment they need. We need our fathers and male partners to step in and carry some of the nourishing, caretaking, and parenting load for us.
Have you ever seen a woman who is also a mother fullheartedly pursue her work, her dreams, her career, her purposes and passion in life and be full throttle supported in the same way that men are? Yeah, me neither. She’s typically shamed for not being a good enough mom or for spending too much time on her craft. We are seriously way beyond the idea that only men can be breadwinners and that women can’t pursue the work field or the right to provide. She can and will do both, if she desires.
What about when a woman talks about being sexually assaulted, physically attacked, or her vilifying rape story? How often as a society do we not believe her? How often do we question her, and in turn blame or shame her for it in the first place?
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the taboo we have built around a woman’s body. That when or if she were to go without a bra, or share a photo in her bikini, or wear lace, she’d automatically be shamed for that. For simply having a body. Because we have been taught to sexualize hers and normalize men’s. That a woman’s body is inherently sinful and that she should cover up. We owe it to women to decolonize the feminine body—like yesterday. For many women, this looks different. But a great deal of it will entail women wanting to display their bodies for the sake of their sovereignty, reclamation, and decolonization.
What about how we expect women to be natural caretakers and healers of their men, their communities, the world? The idea that she is supposed to martyr her natural spiritual inclinations even at the detriment of her well-being or energetic reciprocity in her relationships.
The patriarchy is alive and operating in the cells of women today who are roaring and trying to break free from their restricting relationship containers. From the men who also believe that she is supposed to do all of the fixing, healing and emotional labor.
It is ravenous and spiraling in women today who are bone-tired wanting a break from motherhood, from marriage, from the household obligations, chores, home-making, caretaking, nurturing, and tending to.
The patriarchy is trying to have its way with women who are passionate and God willingly steadfast in pursuing her divine promptings, her spiritually and worldly pursuits—her prosperity, career, calling, dreams.
But she is overriding.
She is rising up from the dynamics that try to keep her coerced, controlled, abused, manipulated, shamed, blamed in the fields of sexual and physical abuse, rape, and the whole gamut of detriments.
She is reclaiming her worth both financially and in her sexual and creative life force, because that is a well of value and power too—even more so.
She is on a mission to dismantle all of the pieces that try to continue to keep her small. Modest. Humble. Quiet. Invisible. Unreal. Unworthy.
And if you ask me, a huge piece of all of us being here and alive today on the planet, inherently entails the remembrance, the honoring, and the valuing of the divine feminine. This intrinsically pays homage to each and every woman walking in human form on the planet today.
This includes men undoing and unraveling the ideologies of the patriarch in their own beliefs, behaviors, and impulses too.
That would obliterate the construct and speed up the rippling process tenfold.
Next time you see us women roaring mad about fairness and equality—just know it is our way of taking a stand. Next time you see us normalizing our rights, our voices, our bodies—just know it is our way of creating a revolution.
And if you are a man and feel like you can’t ever understand our pain—it’s okay. We forgive you. Although, you have your own wounds in the patriarch, we would never expect you to understand ours.
But if you continue to ask me, there is a whole lot of it that we are all being called to untangle and unravel together. To get to an ever more inclusive and evolved world at large.
It’s going to take continual acknowledgement, dismantling, reconfiguring, and pivoting on absolutely all levels of life.