July 21, 2021

The One Doesn’t Exist, but here’s Who Does. 


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The dreamer in me spent a majority of my life thinking there was just one person out there for me.

One! Out of billions of people in the world, just one was meant for me.

We weren’t even guaranteed an encounter with this person. Better yet, it might have been bad timing, and therefore the one moved on. So if we somehow missed our opportunity, we were out of luck.

The dreaming me is in a constant battle with the real me over whether the one even exists. I’ve lived a damn lifetime, and the one seems a bit unrealistic now.

If we believe there is just one person for each of us, what about the people who choose to live a life alone? What happens to their person? They are then left to live alone.

What about all those people who searched for the one and came up empty-handed? If the one existed, where the hell are they?

But the dreamer in me will continue to argue with me. As much as I push her deep down and tell her to shut up, she is still there, reminding me that maybe, just maybe, the one is still out there.

The one is supposed to be the one who has it all. The one who was born to love us. The person who separates themselves from everyone else.

The one stays through it all. The one that stays until the end. We might not even realize they are the one until our time is done and we leave this earth, and the one is there holding our hand.

This person has no intention on their part other than to love us. It’s the one who wants to be a better person because of us.

There is attention to detail in everything they do. They don’t lose sight of birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. They think about us before, after, and during they do something. They think of how we will feel and how it would affect us.

It’s to be in complete balance with them. They attempt to make an impact in our day, no matter how minimal. It’s a feeling and state of mind.

There are people who were lucky to find their person. Other people are still looking. Some people don’t believe there is just one person out there for us.

No matter what we believe or not believe when it comes to the one, the rules of how we know this is someone worth spending our time with, whether they are the one or not, still applies. They need to make us happy.

We can feel happiness when we are with them. There is no doubt, worry, or fear. We just know in our gut that this person makes our heart sing.

There is no bullsh*t there. There are still hard days. But even through the hard days, we can feel the happiness underneath it all and stay true to ourselves.

We don’t become who they want us to be. They don’t become who we want them to be. No one tries to change the other person. We just accept each other for who we are and love each other anyway.

We are able to keep the important things in our lives without having to give them up for anyone. We keep our friendships with others.

There are no ultimatums. We give and receive permission to be our own person. We feel comfortable with them.

We are open to act silly without worry that they will think there is something wrong with us. We can make a million mistakes, but they will never make us feel like it was a mistake at all.

We can sing a song on the radio—even if we don’t know the words without fear we will be corrected. We have the courage to speak our minds if something is bothering us.

We have the restraints to keep some things to ourselves because we don’t need this person to solve all our problems. But if we need them, we can be open and honest.

We support each other.

We are there for each other through every obstacle. We are excited for each other on the really good stuff. We make each other feel better when things are down. We know that no matter what happens, they have our backs.

At the end of the day, the one is that person we choose to spend our time with—it’s that simple.

They weren’t born to be the one. They are the one we feel a connection to, and we choose to put effort into creating something beautiful.

If we are lucky, they end up being our one and only.

There is no formula that makes this person the one. Each person has their own idea of who they choose to spend their lives with. Our goal is to choose the best person for us.

We want to share our life with someone amazing. Someone worth being around.

If we spend our time with people who make us happy, there is a chance they could become the one we choose to be with forever—as long as we choose to be with someone who adds value to our lives.

The one is who we make the one. Let’s make our one count. Let’s choose the person who best fits our life in the most wonderful way.

Most likely, that person wasn’t born to love us, but it won’t stop them from making us feel as if they were born to love us.


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