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*warning: well-deserved cursing ahead!
In order to differentiate between “the extreme feminist” and the “awakened woman,” we must know that there inherently lies—within both archetypes—the ultimate truth that no matter what, all men have a responsibility in actively undoing the patriarchal program within them.”
What does that mean?
It means that no man is an exception. No man is exempt from doing the work to remove this societal structure both from themselves and from the world around them.
It is both a personal and impersonal work.
If you are a man in this modern world, where the patriarchy is still very much alive in the lives of many women and men—and in society at large—then it is in your bones, your DNA, your cosmological and biological make-up to dismantle the systems that no longer serve us all. It is your responsibility to actively instill within yourself a new perspective that does not enact the patriarchy.
Look within yourself to see if you still believe that:
>> Men are inherently stronger, more capable, and more educated than women.
>> Men are somehow superior, dominant, and more powerful than women.
>> Men are not responsible for the household chores, parenting, care-taking, and nurturing roles.
>> Women must prove themselves to a man to be considered worthy.
>> Men always get the upper hand, simply because they are men.
>> Men must prove themselves worthy based on their job and their financial success.
>> Women must prove themselves based on how well they take care of their men.
>> Men must be the breadwinners.
>> Women can only be devoted mothers, not businesswomen.
>> Fathers are not as important or responsible for the lives of their children as mothers are.
>> Women who are abused, raped, sexually assaulted probably did something to deserve it.
>> Women should be quiet, modest, small, and agreeable.
>> Men should make all of the major decisions in life.
And the list goes on!
If you are a man who sees, knows, and believes in a better future that reclaims and restores the lost and forgotten matriarch—then bravo! Thank you for your devoted work of healing and embodiment for the betterment of our society.
A man who dismantles the program within himself creates an even further and powerful ripple beyond any of the work women are doing. Why? Because it is in men where we need to see the patriarchy breakdown and transform.
But here’s the thing that keeps tripping everyone up and fucking us over.
Sometimes, a woman may actively speak about her troubles with a man: one who couldn’t respect boundaries, who thought he could abuse her, who made her face the dominant/submissive or the narcissistic/empath dynamic, or who turned her life into a “free healing session” for him on account of sacrificing a piece of herself.
If one responds with: “But not all men,” they actually take away the inherent responsibility of the man to be a better, safer, more integral man, father, and son.
Responding this way speaks directly to their inability to not be like all men. It shows us exactly where they still feel self-conscious and passive-aggressive about women. Those women dared speak up and call the paradigm out in the name of safety, balance, harmony, reverence, and equality.
This type of defensive reaction tells us that the speaker probably isn’t doing the work to address their core traumas, heal their deepest wounds around the patriarchy, seek therapy/council, grow their emotional intelligence, and/or embody an energy of reciprocation. We should all encourage a sincere appreciation of women.
It doesn’t matter if we think that we don’t fall into the category of “all men,” so we don’t have to take accountability.
What matters is that everyone should rise up and shout: “Yes, sister!”
Instead of shutting her down as she literally seeks to dismantle a program that has been operating for eons, stand with her.
Instead of saying, “I don’t do this. This isn’t me,” or “Well, not all men are abusive. Not all men are controlling. Not all men have the superior/dominant attitude,” men should consider being vulnerable enough to prove yourself. They need to admit that they are one of those who are doing the hard and heavy holy work of changing their behavior. They should admit that they are one of those men who are getting to their core beliefs and implanting new strategies of operating.
Instead of defending themselves, they need to enlighten other men on how to make a change within and around themselves.
They need to share with us how we can learn from one another and grow in harmony, let us all know what is working for them, and what would help other men and women.
Men and women are not competing. You don’t need to protect yourself.
Men who are jumping in, owning their shit, sharing their experiences, speaking their hearts out, standing in solidarity with women, going to therapy, seeking healing, exploring the avenues that help them navigate this collective paradigm of shifting and rebirth—those are the men who are doing the work.
We see them by how they respond (and not overreacting) to women who speak up. We see them by how well they work with women who are also in power. We see them by how well they communicate with and engage in a conducive, loving dialogue with women who have a voice. We see them by how calm and far from intimidated they are when in the same space as women who are exercising their rights.
We see these men by how they create a resonance and rapture with the women who are generally and at large here to dismantle the systems that kept them oppressed for so long.
We see them because they work with us. Not against us.
They don’t assume we are making blanket statements and presuming that all men are inherently dangerous.
We already know that not all men are abusive, aggressive, dominant, dangerous, controlling, coercive, devaluing of women, emotionally unequipped, and so on.
We don’t have to spin the redundancy.
We might oftentimes sound like we are roaring with holy rage—and we just might be. But we aren’t asking you to defend yourselves or put out the fire. This isn’t a competition.
Women bring to light men’s characteristics that still exist so that we can see how they are no longer working. And in fact, they have never worked. It’s just what we collectively agreed to as a society because we knew no other way.
We aren’t looking to create drama, complain, blame, or perpetuate the cycle.
Talking about it doesn’t create more of it.
Fuck all that new age law of attraction shit.
Talking about it creates awareness and enlightens us on where to go from here.
For so long, women didn’t have a voice. We weren’t allowed freedom of speech. We weren’t allowed to have a place in the world. The workplace. The education system. It was morally inappropriate to have an opinion, let alone voice a real concern and stand as a leader, a teacher, or a role model in the world.
And this goes back even further and deeper than our worldly rights. There were eras where women’s spiritual and emotional rights were stripped right away from them. They were only allowed to be submissive housewives—a martyr-like sacrifice to motherhood. They were stripped of their life force, dignity, and sovereignty.
There were eras where the woman had to do all of the emotional labor for her spouse, even at the expense of her health, her well-being, her financial or energetic exchange, or lack thereof.
Women literally gave their cosmic and holy life force for men with nothing in return but the good old pat on the back for performing her “rightful duties.”
There were times when women were left out of the holy teachings, demonized as the original sin, and demoralized from all religious scripture as an act to denounce their divinity.
And I can testify that we still are.
Our healing abilities were distorted and twisted to submit our bodies and auric fields to the pleasure of men.
Our magic was hidden, suppressed, smacked out of us, manhandled by the white man’s patriarchal indoctrination, and burned at the stake with us.
We were told to be small, to mold ourselves, to quiet ourselves, to serve humanity freely and relentlessly with no acknowledgement in return.
We were practically told to not even exist at all.
Except, of course, we were expected to show up, tired, unsatisfied, and soul-sucked in the name of men and their pleasure.
And it’s all rattling alive and resurrecting in certain areas in the world today.
So yeah, it’s kind of a big deal to us when:
>> Women work really hard.
>> We finally have the right to break down the paradigms that are literally outdated and of disservice to absolutely everybody.
>> We see and know that men are doing their part in bringing solidarity.
It might look like a revolution, and that’s because it is.
So, if you’re a modern man, it is your inherent mission—just as equally as it is all women’s—to create the new paradigm.
When you do that, you unleash the feminine within yourself as well. You are then free to be in tune with your emotions without judgment. Embody your emotional intelligence as your superpower. Exercised your magic and healing abilities without ridicule. Step into your soft and receptive nature unapologetically. Speak of your own injustice and fight for your own need to be held, witnessed, nourished, and seen…all of the things that fall under the so-called feminine umbrella.
When you show up and embody the man who isn’t “like all men,” you break down the barriers to face your own ancestral and cultural trauma and return to your wild, primal, and natural roots too!
You free the caged feminine nature you have been longing to integrate within yourself as well.
So next time you have the urge to say, “But not all men,” think about actively making yourself into a man who is the pioneer for change.
Just be that man.
Show us how you are doing your part. This is what is conducive. That is what brings us all closer so we’d be in harmony.
That’s what truly matters.