View this post on Instagram
Some people tiptoe toward Love.
They keep looking back at past heartbreak, stutter-stepping toward making any type of commitment.
“Can I really trust them?”
“Are they telling me their whole truth?”
“Will I get hurt again?”
Yes, it will hurt. Sometimes it will hurt too good to be true. It will feel like your heart is shattering and you lost yourself in a tide of emotions.
Ride the wave of these emotions on your surfboard. Put space in between turbulent trigger waters and your thoughts.
Cease the inner dialogue of constant churning thoughts. That introspection is wasted energy. Your gut lets you know if you can trust or not.
Show up authentically and you will get it in return.
Show up courageously, open to the possibilities.
Show up responsibly, mindful of your own faults and limitations.
Show up knowing what you want in your life and what you don’t. Adjust accordingly.
Love, to me, is work.
Falling in love or lust is easy. The new relationship energy is flowing—oxytocin and dopamine are sparking up our neurons. Everything seems easy at first. We put our best footsteps forward. We show up as a potential perfect mate, not as a flawed primate.
Mistrust takes energy; suspicion steals energy; knowing yourself takes time.
When you feel everything is right, but you don’t have to be right, that’s love.
When you feel seen, heard, supported, even despite disagreement, that’s love.
Love is the work you put in, the choices that show how you value the people in your circle.
If you are feeling hesitant, then trust your feelings. Something triggered you to feel this way and until you feel it 100 percent, adjust your boundaries accordingly.
Stand like an oak in your feelings, not like a bunny frozen in front of a predator.
Don’t jump right in when they give you a slice of attention. Take time for yourself and your goals. If they have a problem with giving you encouraging support, space, and the ability to grow, you got your answer.
It’s not unconditional love.
I’ll let you slowly meander toward some “love with a clause.”
Love with an “if they” is not love; it’s a protective boundary.
Run from addicts refusing to make a change.
Run from narcissists unwilling to feel your pain.
Don’t run from yourself and your capacity to love.
But do run toward loving yourself first.