October 13, 2021

For the Hurt & Brokenhearted: One Thing that’s Sweeter than Revenge.


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We all probably know the saying, revenge is sweet, and perhaps some have tested that theory out, but for me, I think compassion is far sweeter.

Heartbreak, betrayal, and pain are but a few things that can tip someone over the edge, especially if they feel wronged.

Revenge and retribution can and do drive people to do horrible things, which can greatly affect themselves and others. What I’m referring to here is not violence or physical abuse, but rather a relationship ending, where someone feels the need to upheave another’s life to feel better.

This topic came to light recently when I was talking to someone who had recently been badly hurt and left brokenhearted. They were holding a lot of anger at the person who broke their heart and I would go as far as to say they were feeling bitter and resentful. The conversation took an interesting turn when they said they had information that could really cause issues and upset for their ex and they were feeling tempted to use this, in their words “to get back at them.”

Look, a lot of us have been there. We’ve all felt pain and heartache. Maybe we’ve also thought about some form of revenge?

I’ve certainly been there, but the thing is our pain is not going to dissipate because we hurt another. In fact, putting that sort of toxic energy out into the world is harmful all-round. What if we choose to show compassion? What if we choose to let go with grace?

It’s not bloody easy but it’s for the greater good. You see, there’s a little thing called karma. I don’t think of karma as some awful bus that’s going to go hurtling toward an ex causing them great pain. I see karma as the universe throwing repeated lessons at someone until they learn from them (and let’s be honest, some lessons are brutal).

I see karma as unsettling their lives and causing them unhappiness if they don’t learn these lessons. I see karma as a debt one has to pay when they have not been honest, when they lie to themselves and others, when they have not apologised for causing another torment, and when they don’t work on themselves to be better people.

We don’t need to lower ourselves to seek revenge. We need to learn from the experience and heal and let the universe do the rest. All the energy we throw out, eventually comes back to us. Seeking revenge or hurting another will only draw karma into your life.

I believe we hold onto energy. When we’ve been connected to another, especially when that connection is physical, emotional, and spiritual, we retain energy. Some of theirs remains with us and some of ours remains with them. The deeper the connection, the more intertwined the energy cords.

Something I learnt is to clear the energy from past relationships, but to do so with kindness, compassion, and love. Releasing energy and removing those energy cords can take some practise. Ultimately, it’s for the good of both of you.

There have been times that I’ve sat in a pool of despair and anger has washed over me and I’ve wondered, is the man that broke my heart suffering like I am? It’s so easy to lash out and hurt another.

I believe the energy of karma is broken when you learn from your lessons and use those lessons to grow into a better version of yourself. But honesty and authenticity are key.

So whilst revenge may give you some sort of instant albeit twisted satisfaction, is hurting someone else going to take your hurt away? Is knowing someone you once cared about is suffering going to make you happy?

I know when someone causes you pain, their suffering is a focus. An eye for an eye. Get even. Teach them a lesson. Hurt them like they hurt you. Yep all those vengeful, resentful, and bitter actions may seem like the answer, but the truth is, you will be hurting yourself even more. That bad energy you put out there will come back and kick you on your ass at some point. Don’t let revenge be the raging fire that consumes you.

It’s not our job to serve up revenge. It’s the universal law of karma that will sort it out. The sum of one’s actions will determine the state of their future existence.

As hard as it f*cking is at times, focus on yourself. Your healing. Your energy. Release those who hurt you with compassion and grace, so you can free yourself. Remember your actions and the energy you put out there will come back to you. I know what I would rather choose.

Compassion is far sweeter.

“When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves. One for your enemy and one for yourself.” ~ Jodi Picoult.



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